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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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My husband isn’t looking up anymore. Why does he just look at his lap instead of people talking to him? And sometimes he just seems to shut down, no responses, just stares into his lap. What can I do to get him to participate?
When someone has dementia, they live in their own mind. Only occasionally do they participate in the “real world”. You can’t make them participate in conversations or understand what is being said. Their minds are usually in another place and time. The last thing you should do is force him to participate or speak to him in an angry tone because he will not understand. Acceptance of who he is now is difficult but if you try, things will be easier for both of you.
I agree with Ahmijoy. I would let him be for awhile. Later, approach him in soft gentle voice and ask him a question, Like how is he feeling? Or Would he like anything?
Just a thought...Have you had his vision checked lately? Mom is blind and sometimes doesn’t pick her head up...I guess why bother when you can’t see well. I have to remind her that at least it better for her posture and back if her head is up.
Without knowing your husband's condition, I will add what I know about that presentation. My father would do this and in his case he was having a seizure. During this type of seizure, it seemed as if he could hear you, but he was unable to respond or function. Observed it in the car as we arrived home once. Very unsettling. Luckily, mom was with me and knew what to do. With occasional prompts, we could see when its effects abated. Mom would wait until he could unbuckle the seatbelt himself and perform other little functions before attempting to get him in the house. The other source of this type of behavior can be from the effects of medication. Look at his list. If your loved one is showing a new behavior or symptom, I would discuss this with the doctor and have him checked out. Never assume anything.
He may be getting over stimulated. If he is given a chance to spend time in a quiet, boring environment, he may be more responsive later. As an introvert, I get overstimulated easily. I however am able to take care of myself by retreating to be alone for a period of time. If he does this behavior absolutely all of the time, then this is probably where he is in his dementia at this point. If this is intermittent, it is possible he is having a seizure or a TIA (mini stroke).
This is exactly how my Dad is now. He is usually hunched over and looking down.. or has is eyes closed. He is now doing this more and more ...its very hard to see him like this.
I also have tried to get him to be more interactive.. but it is usually a futile effort.
My dad had Parkinson’s with dementia did the same thing. he has always been very social and couldn’t understand why he would look down and not talk much it’s true they are in there own little world. But after doctor put him on the Exelon patch that has improved and holds conversation a lot better. That is part of the desease and it’s hearbreaking. We have been going down this road for several months now I have had to learn so much. What is he diagnosed with?
It depends on what else is going on and where he is in a particular disease process. My Husband looked down and I think there was a variety of reasons. At the late stages of his dementia he began loosing trunk support and supporting the heat is difficult. That is 10 to 11 pounds supported by the neck, that is a bit of weight! With dementia you are no longer engaged to the people around you or your surroundings so what is around you has less meaning. If something holds no meaning there is no sense in looking at it. And if what you are seeing confuses you it is best to not look. It could be depression It could be he is having vision problems I could not tell from your profile what you are dealing with so it is difficult to give one answer. If this is new and a concern I would contact his doctor to determine if this is something to be concerned about or is this normal progression.
I know this is difficult, especially since it is your spouse. It is possibly just part of the severe stages of the illness. Search for the Functional Assessment Staging Test.
Im wondering if he had a stroke or a clot. My mother woke up one morning slurring her words and exhibiting odd behavior. She was trying to put socks on her feet. In reality she was waving a Kleenex over her foot, in her mind it was a sock. The MD said there was no evidence of a stroke but maybe a clot. They "could" try medications but at 94 years old, I'm guessing HE felt she had a good life. I work full time so I decided to place her in a beautiful facility. The first few days she was able to speak somewhat, after that she began to shut down. I would put her in a wheelchair and we would sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. She began to be non verbal, and non responsive, keeping her eyes closed and eventually her head down. Eventually it became difficult to get her into a wheelchair and she became bedbound, she passed away after two weeks in the facility.. I would visit his Dr and see if something else is going on..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I also have tried to get him to be more interactive.. but it is usually a futile effort.
he has always been very social and couldn’t understand why he would look down and not talk much it’s true they are in there own little world. But after doctor put him on the Exelon patch that has improved and holds conversation a lot better. That is part of the desease and it’s hearbreaking. We have been going down this road for several months now I have had to learn so much. What is he diagnosed with?
When my DH started that, I allowed the doctor to put him on the Zoloft and it helped so much, so very very much.
My Husband looked down and I think there was a variety of reasons.
At the late stages of his dementia he began loosing trunk support and supporting the heat is difficult. That is 10 to 11 pounds supported by the neck, that is a bit of weight!
With dementia you are no longer engaged to the people around you or your surroundings so what is around you has less meaning. If something holds no meaning there is no sense in looking at it. And if what you are seeing confuses you it is best to not look.
It could be depression
It could be he is having vision problems
I could not tell from your profile what you are dealing with so it is difficult to give one answer.
If this is new and a concern I would contact his doctor to determine if this is something to be concerned about or is this normal progression.
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