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You may have some spousal rights, but that would depend on where you live as well as other unique factors. I'd see an estate or elder law attorney to see what your options are. It's possible you may have to take court action, but only an attorney can tell you that. I think legal advice is your next step. Good luck. This is not uncommon with couples, so hopefully an attorney can guide you in the least painful way. Carol
Once a person is to the state that they cannot make their own decisions they cannot give someone Power of Attorney. You must go to court and become a guardian of that person. I know in MI you do not need a lawyer to file for guardianship you just go to the court house, file some papers and you get a court date. If you want to make your case strong have the Doctor write something about his disease and is he is able to make his own decisions.
In the state of MD. once someone has lost competency, one cannot get the POA. It needs to be done before your parent or loved one is unable to make this decision. Good luck. I know this is a difficult thing to do. I got POA for my mother (beforer she went into an ALF) but my sibs accused me of taking advantage of mom for my benefit---which is so far from the truth. The truth is that my sibs had taken advantage of mom throughout the years and they were upset when I stopped the "gravytrain."
POA is a serious declaration and assignment. It has to be done with the full consent of the giver. As you know it ceases with the death of the donor. Guardianship is your best path, I believe, and with that you can make finanacial decisions.
"he is declaring incompetence only" I'm not sure what you mean?
If a doctor has not declared him incompetent to conduct his business in a business like manner, you might be able to get both durable and medical POA. If his Alzheimer's is too far advanced, this will not be possible.
You will need a or two doctor to declare him incompetent and why on his letterhead, most likely also notarized, in taking him to court for guardianship.
This is a hard choice. The advice of the previous responders is all correct. Guardianship, if they won't do POA, is your only way of 'taking care of business'. Caught between a rock and a hard place is very hard and painful. You have two choices; walk away or be pro-active. I have tried both. When it comes down to your responsibility, get an Estate Lawyer. I don't know which state you live in, but the rules are different in each. Perhaps you won't have to jump through hoops. In Texas, it is very hard to get guardianship. Luckily I had POA before he was committed involuntarily. The advice in the previous responses have some good advice. Take the bits that are proactive and follow your heart. You are not alone.
If he is incompetent, he can't give you POA. Might as well take him to court for guardianship which will include having a doctor examine him and testify that he is indeed incompetent. Your husband will have to be at the trial also because he will be the person on trial. Other family members can come too to support or speak against him being incompetent.
You need to be appointed his guardian by the courts - this should not be too difficult given the Alzheimer's. However, I would contact an attorney and be direct and to the point - "my husband has Alzheimer's and I need to be appointed as his guardian to manage his afffairs......are you able to complete and file the appropriate paperwork for this process, and how much will it cost?"
This advice has given me insight into my situation because, regardless of incompetence, elderly people are not able to cope with change as well as they'd like it to be known.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck. This is not uncommon with couples, so hopefully an attorney can guide you in the least painful way.
Carol
If a doctor has not declared him incompetent to conduct his business in a business like manner, you might be able to get both durable and medical POA. If his Alzheimer's is too far advanced, this will not be possible.
You will need a or two doctor to declare him incompetent and why on his letterhead, most likely also notarized, in taking him to court for guardianship.
You are not alone.