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He wears a Depends but it does not stop what comes out all over his legs and floor. This has happened 3 times in the last 3 months. Is this the start of a pattern that will progress? I also need advice on how to clean up the loose mess all over the place.

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Get adult diapers. There are fastened with adhesive tape on the sides.

Throw out soiled clothes, etc. Don't even try to wash them.

Also put a commode in the bedroom with a very large plastic bag in the bucket.
Has he tried Imodium over the counter tablets? Some pharmacies have a jar with a count of 200 so you won't have to buy too often. I use that for irritable bowel syndrome which I have since the late 1960's. There's also Pepto Bismol and Kaopectate. Take him to a gastroenterologist to make sure he doesn't have colitis, Chron's disease or colon cancer. Hope this helps. CeeJaye
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cwillie mentioned what I did for my Husband.
He was in pull up briefs and we/he also had the Tab type briefs. I use the Boxer Briefs over them and it did keep them up better and helped contain some of the leakage.
Trying to get a "bathroom routine" can be difficult and with bouts of diarrhea it is sometimes impossible but if it can be done it helps.
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My H has vascular dementia and Parkinson's - therefore difficulty getting to the toilet in time, although explosive diarrhea just can't be contained. His bowel incontinence, though only occasional at this point, is the worst aspect of caregiving in my experience. Like another commenter, I cry through the episode. However, I would find it hard moving him to a memory care facility because of bowel incontinence - he still has awareness and lucid times and he would totally feel abandoned. I would cry more knowing he is despondent being away from me. He would die of a broken heart, and my guilt would be huge. There is no easy solution - it just has to be dealt with in the calmest way possible - not easy to do!
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MamaMamaMama Sep 2021
I could have written this a few years ago. The first couple of times it happened, I just totally melted down, but still had to clean it up. My husband was very ashamed, and I felt sorry for both of us. He eventually became bed bound and was totally incontinent the last two or three years of his life. We just got used to the new normal and accepted it. I didn’t want to put him in any kind of facility, and thankfully, I didn’t. With the pandemic, being separated would have killed his soul and mine too. I just told him I loved all of him, even his bottom.
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Talk to his doctor about some medications causing the loose stools.
Mom and aunt are taking greek yogurt everyday and a probiotic. This seems to help balance their guts quite a bit.

Neither can tolerate raw food. Doctor has them on a sensitive stomach diet. You can google but basically low fat, nothing raw, no processed foods. Try to keep track of what sets their bowels off. Maybe eliminate coffee.

If clothes need to be thrown out get replacements from the thrift store. Saves a ton of money.

My go to cleaner is very hot water, white vinegar and baking soda.
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My husband has occasional poo episodes - sometimes explosive - floor and walls. With his Parkinsons and back problems, he can't get to the toilet fast enough. If you see that he is about to go, have a disposable pad (like doggie potty pads) and place under him - you might get some of the mess contained. Definitely have disposable gloves on hand! I've tossed out many a pair of shorts or pants - I can't bear to scrape them off. I also have containers of disinfectant wipes in the bathroom to clean surfaces. Incontinence is the worst part of dementia - as many times as it has happened, his poo episodes still bring me great distress-bringing me to tears every time.
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A good probiotics helped with my mom. Check with his doctor.
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Have you tried using 2 Depends? I’ve doubled them up on my husband and it helped a lot. That may prevent leakage. Also the correct fit is most important. When removing them, rip them at the sides and fold up waste inside (like baby diapers) instead of trying to take them off down the legs, thus dragging the waste.
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I'm going to make a suggestion that's a little outside the box but it worked for me 😉, use a wet shop vac or one of Bissell's little green machines. You can suck up a bleach or disinfectant solution to clean the vacuum between uses. Also - wearing one of the sports style boxer briefs (the kind with the tight legs) over his Depends might help contain things.
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I would look at what he eats and drinks. I stopped coffee and fruit juice, especially, from Moms diet. Maybe certain foods are now irritating his stomach.

Is there a certain time of the day this happens? Like said try taking him to the toilet every couple of hours. Like potty training a child. Have him sit for a little while.

Cleaning up, I don't envy you. My Mom had an explosive diarrhea . Looked like the toilet threw up. Then she walked out to her chair. TG the carpet was a cheap area rug. That got thrown out. I had to wipe down the bathroom first so I could get her in the shower. Used a lot of toilet paper and flushing of the toilet. I wiped down with PineSol and then bleach and water using paper towels I thru in a plastic bag and threw in the outside trash. The water was flushed down the toilet. It took me 3 hrs and I cried most of the time.

You may find that its becoming too much trying to keep hubby home. Don't feel bad about placing him.
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garfield8 Aug 2021
I laughed out loud after reading your post! I guess we're all having pretty much the same issues. My husband has diabetic diarrhea but at least it's not explosive. He has had a few episodes when he tried to "hide" the poop in his briefs and pants....and I found some residue in the washer. I now check his clothes, socks and even shoes several times daily. I, too, had to remove an area rug . l almost always cry, too. I have been using large, washable, waterproof baby "sheets" on chairs.

Yesterday I just moaned a lot when both he and one of the 2 cats left a good-sized puddle on 2 different floors. Not so hard to clean that up, right? But I had just mopped those same floors..... It makes me feel like he does it on purpose. And the floor tiles in the bathroom are coming up. The short-term solution is to put clear tape over the tile edges, but that won't help for long. I know what the long-term solution is, but then I feel sad and guilty about plans for "when he's gone."

I finally forgave the cat. He is super-sized and doesn't realize he's hanging over the edge of the litter pan, which is also super-sized. I'm trying to find a larger litter pan or alternative. For now I put puppy pads under the litter pan. Regular plastic totes have too much shaping on the bottom, making them much harder to clean.

I'm giving you a hug long distance. Good luck on your journey.
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Thank God that it's just been about once a month so far huh? I'm sure that it will get worse, so I would try and have him sit on the toilet to poop several times a day, whether he wants to or not, just to be safe.
Also make sure that he is wearing the right size Depends, as you don't want them not fitting snuggly around his upper legs.
When my husband who had vascular dementia, and was bedridden, I had an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode to poop. Eventually his body got used to that and he learned to poop when she was here.
As far as cleaning up his mess, just make sure you have gloves on, and use some kind of disinfectant for the poop on the floor, while you can use the extra large body wipes for his body if you don't want to get him immediately in the shower. There were times before my husband was bedridden and his poop got all over his clothes that I would literally just throw them away as I wasn't about to try and wash them.
Often times any kind of incontinence will be the straw that breaks the camels back, and folks will start looking into placing their loved one in the appropriate facility. You may be at that point. I wish you the very best.
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