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How bad is she freaking out about this? Is she on any anti-anxiety meds?

You will not be able to get her to understand that that strange man is her husband. But how can you comfort her to accept that this strange man is safe? How is your dad handling this? I suggest that he not try to convince her that he is who he is. Maybe just deflect, OK, it's time for lunch now. Here let me help you to the table. That type of thing.

There is no use arguing. No use trying to convince her. It's horrible and sad but it's just the way it is now.
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I'd make sure she's supervised at all times, in case she tries to run out of the house. And, I'd contact the doctor, to let him know. He may want to rule out things like UTI or medication reaction. You might explore medication to help. And, I'd figure a way to appease her so she's not so frightened. Either dad staying elsewhere or explaining his presence as a house guest who is just there visiting or there to help with repairs to the house.
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What would happen if he bought her flowers? Do you think she would warm up to him? Or if he showed her pictures of them together 30 years ago, would that help?
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