My mom has dementia. I am her caregiver. She has lived with me for over a year. Today, out of the blue at her doctor appointment she made me leave the room then told the doctor I withhold food from her. I have never skipped a meal for her. She has been in good health this whole year. I was questioned by her doctor about this. I told him this is not true. He said he can tell she is eating because she is healthy. Now he is obligated to send someone out to question me. I am very upset by all this. Mom doesn't remember saying anything to her doctor nor does she remember asking me to leave room so she could talk. This came out of left field. We always get along. There has been nothing but love and understanding and excellent care given to her. I know it's her dementia and I dont fault her for this. It just is a horrible and sad experience both she and I went through today. Any words of support are welcome. Thank you.
With Hospice, they checked her "weight" by the diameter of her upper arms, above the elbow. This is an indication if fat is building up, or going down.. as far as I recall.
If you take pictures, take selfies with her holding a milkshake or something with you, make it a fun and happy picture so she doesn't get upset about it. Play music,,.. You can always mix her ensure with a milkshake to make it taste better. That is what my friend and I did with our moms when they were roommates at a board n care. We made it fun, lively and happy..:)
Is she able to participate part time at an adult day care a couple days a week? Insurance may help pay for it.. I don't recall. I don't think they did with my mom, but that was a number of years ago... Senior activities during the weekday, to give you a break, and mom something new to do to activate the brain differently.. New people, activities, daily news, where in the World are we Talking about..Geography... puzzles,etc... you get it... IF YOU CAN ENGAGE HER IN OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES A FEW DAYS A WEEK, WILL HELP TOO.
So when she comes home to you, she will be happy to see you...and she knows you are doing the best you can... Sometimes, all of us need a break.. :)
Glad she is around for you to get concerned... :)
Glad is able to talk, and make conversations... When that stops,,, IT IS REALLY SAD...:(
On that note, please be patient with mom, do not correct her if she doesn't get a name right, or a date right, or what she had for breakfast... When she stops talking, that will be very devastating. I asked mom what was my name, .. her sister's name popped up... I corrected her.. she stopped talking... It hurts... then you are the master of facial expressions, you think... happy? yes... frustrated/confused? looks like it....crying...it hurts, or she is sad......or scared...
I am glad your mom is well taken care of... you are doing a good job! Keep it up. You are all she has, make it fun, enjoyable and happy... You Both Deserve It!
How do you deal with this when they are mobile on their own? I feel awful trying to stop her from another serving of whatever. "But I want it!" She just dumped the rotissierrie chicken on the floor rumaging in the fridge. I keep the toaster under the counter, unplug the microwave, (she burned bread in it a few weeks ago), and took the knobs off the stove.
I know it's the disease, but it makes me just about quiver with frustration. She was doing this before, but dealing with it on an hourly basis is awful. I Suppose it could be a lot worse, and probably will be. I keep a regular journal, and started to do a food journal for the particularly bad days. Will run it by her Doctor this week.
Any other helpful hints?