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As sole caregiver to both my elderly parents who both have severe dementia, and a mother who does the same thing - putting her hands into her poopy diaper frequentl - I was a bit disappointed at the apparent lack of understanding most responses to your question showed, as far as "getting" the extreme stress of what you are going through.
Most focused solely on "why is your mother scratching:" rather than offering practical solutions to the problem of an adult with POOP ALL OVER THEIR HANDS.
The best solution offered is the special clothing with rear fasteners/openings.
Like you, I considered restraints but they are not a practical solution nor a very pleasant one. But going in to change a diaper or deliver food or medication only to find an enormous, stinky smelly mess all over your parent, their bed, the bedding and clothing is a VERY heart-sinking, stress-level-thru-the-roof feeling, knowing what you are in for clean-up wise.
I am sure you are feeling horribly frustrated and emotionally exhausted.
I myself hold down an outside part-time job, take care of 3 teenagers, 2 dogs & a cat in addition to both parents with late-stage dementia.
So, a half hour diaper change session (including giving food, drinks & meds) turns into a 2 hour nightmare of back-breaking labor, bent over a person who doesn't even remember doing putting their hands into their poopy diaper.
By the time you get done cleaning, disinfecting and disposing of the mess, you feel emotionally and physically drained and beat down.
My parents are both sweet, loveable people, even with their dementia, but this one habit of my mother's makes caring for her extremely time-consuming and stressful.
I am late to work all the time because of these messes. It is also highly unsanitary to the dementia patient, often causing things like eye infections because they rub their eyes with their poop-covered hands! It is a major problem!
I am trying to get across to those who don't understand the scope of the problem but replied anyway, that this is a serious health threat and major inconvenience, a VERY SERIOUS, hard-to-cope-with problem for the caregiver and often results in institutionalization as the caregiver can no longer cope.
In my case, my mother is bed-ridden, essentially paralyzed so she cannot get up and get to a water source to clean up, it all has to be done from her bed where I have to remain stooped over for up to 2 hours, cleaning, sanitizing, soaking her hands, cleaning and trimming poopy fingernails...it feels like it's never going to end each time.
And people wonder why you thought of restraints !!! I challenge anyone to go through this on a daily basis and see how far they'd go to find a solution!
Some things I tried with varying degrees of success: carefully stapling her diaper shut over the tapes and along the top and leg openings (worked sometimes but she still found a way in if she was determined). Just use baby scissors to cut the diaper open for diaper changes.
Also tried using tape around her waist at the top opening and leg openings. That helps the most but again, given enough time and determination, she has gottten the tape off many times or bypassed it to get her hands down into the poop.
Make sure, if she has diahrrea that you give her appropriate meds for it like Immodium-AD.
The basic reason they try to get into their diaper is discomfort, of course, that and boredom, something to do with their hands. I keep my mother changed frequently, she does this even if her diaper is dry, sometimes a mere 20 minutes after the last change! But the most frequent time is after she's had a bowel movement. I think she thinks she is going to get in there and clean herself up. It is heart breaking to see that they've wiped poop all over themselves and onto their faces, the poor things. As bad as you feel for yourself at having to clean up their mess, you feel bad for them.
I am going to try the clothing solution suggeston - thank you to the person who suggested that! Very good advice. As for those suggesting "anti-itch ointments" etc... it is not usually a matter of true itching as much as their discomfort with wearing an adult diaper in the first place and them wanting to get into it and see what's going on in there.
People with dementia do not think and act normally. My mother was THE most sanitary, hygienic woman yet now she sticks her hands into her own poop. So sad.
I wish you the best of luck in solving your problem with your own mother! Hang in there and reach out for support when you need it!
Restraints and dementia really do no mix. Restraints usually bring on behaviors, agitation and frustration. Imagine if you had an itch and couldnt get to it. Restraints can also be dangerous as the person works to get out of them. The first thing that needs to be investigated is why she is itching. Does she have yeast? dry skin? vaginal infection? Does she need an antihistimine or ointment to give her relief? Keep her fingernails trimmed short. You might try using clothing as an obstical for her such as bib overalls or a full kitchen apron. You might also give her itemsto hold and mess with to keep her hands occupied.
Check out all of the above for some sound advice. Could she be allergic to the diaper? Some people are more sensitive to them then others. They could be too lose or too tight and cause an irritation. Ask yourself when does she itch? Maybe it is her way of telling you that she needs to go or time to be changed.Something that should be considered but is often ignored (for some this next sentence will be a eww- gross factor) but depending on the stage of her disease touching herself could be a natural self soothing activity.
If you have not tried previously, try to eliminate the reason for scratching which there are many reasons. I would first try making sure your mom is cleaned frequently. more frequently than at present. Then, apply some medication to eliminate the itch if there really is one. Your mom might be bored and need stimulus. Unless, she is actually harming herself, try not to use significant restraints. Perhaps bulky gloves when you are not around or some sort of jumpsuit as mentioned above but without area specific openings that might cause the problem. Get her excited with pretty jumpsuits. What about as in animals when you want them to not lick you put a collar arounf the head as in a cone, you could construct some manner of that to make it difficult to do such behavior. Creativity is fun and good. But, keeping sanitary may be your best bet. God Bless you for caring for your mother.
I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THRU!!!! My mom has "dug" at her rear end for two years. As well as her face arms legs...etc. She(my mom) does this more when she is showing increased anxiety. I refer to moms scratching as a "nervous tick". She also does a panting noise as well! How is your mothers anxiety? Do you notice a connection of the scratching and her mood? Does she scratch her skin open? If so, a dermatalogist will check her out and maybe give cream. Try to avoid any perfume body lotions and get bath soap for sensitive skin. That helped some with moms scratching! Before I started looking after my mom, she was scratching so bad that she got "Scabies". Which I felt so bad, that I wasn't around to help!! My mom has scars all over her body from doing this!! I tried gloves, but she would take them off. Basically, for the last two years I spent removing her "scratchy "hand from her body 100's of times a day!! I make sure her nails are trimmed very short. Helps not only with the scratching but it makes it easier to clean the poop off her fingers. Only until recently, moms bathroom habits are basically almost non-existant now. I got suggestions about one-piece Pjs and such that button or zip in back. Well that is my miracle now!! It works!!! no more using the house as a public toilet and no more hand down pants!! I wish I would have thought off that a long time ago. I sewed together some 2-piece Pjs and sweatsuits with a slit in back that buttons. For me the one-piece suit thing solved a few problems for me, it might help you as well. Hope my suggestions help!! GOOD LUCK!!!
In top of everything she might be constipated. I had a resident who was doing the same thing like your mom and I keep thinking why she will do such a thing like taking her clothes off and reaching with her finger "behind". As soon as I put her to the bathroom she will stop doing the same. For itching can be UTI which also, can develop behavioral changes as well. Website: clothingsolutions and they sell the overalls for people with such behavior. It is about $35. Good Luck1
All of the above is what I was going to say. Give her something to hold . A wash cloth or towel. Mom holds a pillow case all the time now. But I bet she needs antibotice to stop whats itching. Or is could be just a thing she is going through. But have something to hold will help I think.
We found using Eucerin lotion did the trick. Mom used to scratch and leave marks, scratches on herself. Not sure what caused it, but Eucerin has helped. Guessing her skin felt dry but other lotions did not work. Friend who is nurse in nursing home made the suggestion.
You don't say where your mom is, is she in a nursing home? Poop should not be allowed to be in he diaper for a long period of time, she should be cleaned immediately. Also diapers are made of plastic and irritating materials that irritate the skin. Scratching/itching is also a sign of a urinary tract infection, (probably from sitting in poopy diapers) try putting some putty in your pants and just try to keep your hands our of YOUR pants. Amazes me that you want to RESTRAIN her rather than have her KEPT CLEAN and tested for a UTI. Nursing homes are noted for leaving these helpless individuals sit in crap!! shame on all of you or any of you who are so stupid not to recognize the possible causes of this behavior and hopefull when you get old someone will treat you the same way!!!!!!!!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Most focused solely on "why is your mother scratching:" rather than offering practical solutions to the problem of an adult with POOP ALL OVER THEIR HANDS.
The best solution offered is the special clothing with rear fasteners/openings.
Like you, I considered restraints but they are not a practical solution nor a very pleasant one. But going in to change a diaper or deliver food or medication only to find an enormous, stinky smelly mess all over your parent, their bed, the bedding and clothing is a VERY heart-sinking, stress-level-thru-the-roof feeling, knowing what you are in for clean-up wise.
I am sure you are feeling horribly frustrated and emotionally exhausted.
I myself hold down an outside part-time job, take care of 3 teenagers, 2 dogs & a cat in addition to both parents with late-stage dementia.
So, a half hour diaper change session (including giving food, drinks & meds) turns into a 2 hour nightmare of back-breaking labor, bent over a person who doesn't even remember doing putting their hands into their poopy diaper.
By the time you get done cleaning, disinfecting and disposing of the mess, you feel emotionally and physically drained and beat down.
My parents are both sweet, loveable people, even with their dementia, but this one habit of my mother's makes caring for her extremely time-consuming and stressful.
I am late to work all the time because of these messes. It is also highly unsanitary to the dementia patient, often causing things like eye infections because they rub their eyes with their poop-covered hands! It is a major problem!
I am trying to get across to those who don't understand the scope of the problem but replied anyway, that this is a serious health threat and major inconvenience, a VERY SERIOUS, hard-to-cope-with problem for the caregiver and often results in institutionalization as the caregiver can no longer cope.
In my case, my mother is bed-ridden, essentially paralyzed so she cannot get up and get to a water source to clean up, it all has to be done from her bed where I have to remain stooped over for up to 2 hours, cleaning, sanitizing, soaking her hands, cleaning and trimming poopy fingernails...it feels like it's never going to end each time.
And people wonder why you thought of restraints !!! I challenge anyone to go through this on a daily basis and see how far they'd go to find a solution!
Some things I tried with varying degrees of success:
carefully stapling her diaper shut over the tapes and along the top and leg openings (worked sometimes but she still found a way in if she was determined). Just use baby scissors to cut the diaper open for diaper changes.
Also tried using tape around her waist at the top opening and leg openings. That helps the most but again, given enough time and determination, she has gottten the tape off many times or bypassed it to get her hands down into the poop.
Make sure, if she has diahrrea that you give her appropriate meds for it like Immodium-AD.
The basic reason they try to get into their diaper is discomfort, of course, that and boredom, something to do with their hands. I keep my mother changed frequently, she does this even if her diaper is dry, sometimes a mere 20 minutes after the last change! But the most frequent time is after she's had a bowel movement. I think she thinks she is going to get in there and clean herself up. It is heart breaking to see that they've wiped poop all over themselves and onto their faces, the poor things. As bad as you feel for yourself at having to clean up their mess, you feel bad for them.
I am going to try the clothing solution suggeston - thank you to the person who suggested that! Very good advice. As for those suggesting "anti-itch ointments" etc... it is not usually a matter of true itching as much as their discomfort with wearing an adult diaper in the first place and them wanting to get into it and see what's going on in there.
People with dementia do not think and act normally. My mother was THE most sanitary, hygienic woman yet now she sticks her hands into her own poop. So sad.
I wish you the best of luck in solving your problem with your own mother! Hang in there and reach out for support when you need it!
My mom has "dug" at her rear end for two years. As well as her face arms legs...etc. She(my mom) does this more when she is showing increased anxiety. I refer to moms scratching as a "nervous tick". She also does a panting noise as well!
How is your mothers anxiety? Do you notice a connection of the scratching and her mood? Does she scratch her skin open?
If so, a dermatalogist will check her out and maybe give cream.
Try to avoid any perfume body lotions and get bath soap for sensitive skin. That helped some with moms scratching!
Before I started looking after my mom, she was scratching so bad that she got "Scabies". Which I felt so bad, that I wasn't around to help!!
My mom has scars all over her body from doing this!!
I tried gloves, but she would take them off. Basically, for the last two years I spent removing her "scratchy "hand from her body 100's of times a day!! I make sure her nails are trimmed very short. Helps not only with the scratching but it makes it easier to clean the poop off her fingers.
Only until recently, moms bathroom habits are basically almost non-existant now. I got suggestions about one-piece Pjs and such that button or zip in back. Well that is my miracle now!! It works!!! no more using the house as a public toilet and no more hand down pants!! I wish I would have thought off that a long time ago. I sewed together some 2-piece Pjs and sweatsuits with a slit in back that buttons. For me the one-piece suit thing solved a few problems for me, it might help you as well.
Hope my suggestions help!! GOOD LUCK!!!
For itching can be UTI which also, can develop behavioral changes as well. Website: clothingsolutions and they sell the overalls for people with such behavior. It is about $35.
Good Luck1
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