My 91 year old mother has basically stopped eating. She has had some upper digestive issues for the past several weeks - constipation, vomiting, burping up food. She had a stroke 3 years ago. She probably has mild dementia. She and my dad live alone and WILL not listen to a single thing my sisters and I say or suggest. In the past she has cried wolf so much we vacillate between there being something wrong and all the symptoms made up. Her mobility has declined a great deal in the last month and she’s slurring her words. She is sleeping a lot. We have no idea what meds she takes because she won’t tell us and hides them. She has a doctors appointment tomorrow with the gastroenterologist - hopefully we will get some answers. But the bottom line she eats maybe a 1/2 piece of toast or one scrambled egg for breakfast and that’s it for the day. She drinks 1/2 cup coffee and maybe a few sips of water during the day.
We all die. Not wishing to eat, a wasting away is rather a merciful death over all. Consider now if it is time for palliative care and/or hospice care, end of life care.
But don't expect any miracles.
My MIL has lived on less than 400 calories for almost a year. She eats a hard boiled egg for breakfast and possibly on small piece of cheese. She drinks coffee with 3 T of Boost in it. That's it.
Incredible to me she's still standing. She has not lost a lot of weight, and she is considered to be 'doing great' in Hospice. IDK what that means, and nobody tells me.
She doesn't have issues with swallowing, she just doesn't want to eat. That's what put her in Hospice to start with. We were told 2-3 weeks at that level of malnutrition and we're moving into month 10 or 11 with this level of caloric intake.
MIL also sleeps about 18 hrs per day. She doesn't take any meds except for benzos to keep her from 'raging'.
It's fully expected she will live another 6 months to year.
You really can't do anything to make an elder with a GI issue eat more or, God forbid, drink water 🙄. See what the doc says and go from there I guess.
Best of luck to you
My friend who cared for her younger sister with Downs Syndrome and dementia was upset when her sister stopped eating.
At one point in time a feeding tube was discussed. My friend opted not to go that route. Later on when she went on hospice, the hospice nurse told my friend not to force her sister to eat.
Will Mom drink boost ?
Let us know what doc says .
If this were my mom, I would ask about a hospice evaluation. A lot of people basically stop eating when they are nearing the end. I'm not saying that is definitely what is happening but is a possibility.
Best of luck.
I'm sorry for your pain.
My grandma-in-law would do the “I’m not hungry!” thing often. She had dementia and macular degeneration. Her bad eyesight was the initial cause of refusing food. She couldn’t make out what was in front of her and she’d smile, wave at the plate and say “Oh, take it away!”. She was trying to mask how bad her vision had become, or that her mind no longer recognized certain foods. Eventually the NH had to rely on Ensure to keep her going.
My own grandma didn’t have dementia but was so stubborn and angry that she’d use not eating as a means of control and expressing anger. If we put a plate of food in front of her, she’d turn her head and make a scowly face like a 3-year-old. You’d have thought we’d put bugs on her plate, she looked so repulsed!
She broke her hip and was in a very nice rehab (even she agreed it was nice) place for a few months. She lost about 25 pounds quickly and insisted that “it’s just fluid”. Refused Ensure and appetite meds didn’t help. She’d eat a piece of lettuce and would just do the tiniest nibbles like a squirrel, then insist she’d eaten. It was so aggravating. Finally her doctor sat next to her and asked if she would prefer a feeding tube. Of course she got mad and said “NO!”. He said he could not force her to get a tube, but he flat out told her that if she continued this hunger strike game, that she was going to die very soon. That scared her. Guess who ate over half her dinner that night?
When people lose mobility and ombine it with low fluid intake the digestive system can be bit backed up. Plenty of fluids and Linzess as needed as made a world of difference.
A PEG would have put my mom in a really bad place mentally so I’m waiting until it’s an absolute necessity.
They told me she had too much thyroid in her system. To see her primary.
They suggested a fleet enema which the home health did the next morning. Later that day she started back with the same symptoms and I took her to a diff hospital. They repeated the X-ray, told me the same as the first place and said it would take awhile to clear. Also gave me a referral to a gastro. When aunt saw the gastro, he said she had too much thyroid onboard, recommended a geriatric primary. Told me to give her Polyethylene glycol 3350 daily and no stool softener.
I got the thyroid med reduced, put her on the glycol as instructed and she was fine for years. I know some on the forum don’t recommend this which is basically the same as miralax. It was exactly what aunt needed.
Hopefully the gastro will do blood work or you can get a copy of recent blood work from her primary faxed to the gastro. It might give you a chance to learn more about mom’s condition. I had a copy of aunts labs with me and it was clear a problem with the thyroid. Her primary didn’t believe the thyroid caused her to be constipated. The gastro did. We changed to the geriatric primary.
After being sick a year go, she stopped eating and lost weight. She is on an appetite stimulate now and is slowly regaining.
in your moms case I would be concerned about how she is taking the pills. Tell her the gastro will want to know all that she is on so she needs to be sure and bring her meds. Tell her to bring any supplements she takes as well. This will give you a chance to see what she is taking, who prescribed, how long ago they were filled and if it looks like the appropriate amount of them are gone from the bottle.
If sis is going with you to take mom, maybe one of you can check the meds out while the other one distracts her. Or let the doctors nurse know to pay attention to those details to help understand what mom is actually taking. Sometimes when you arrive with the elder, they assume you as caregivers have all the answers..
Let us know what you find out. I hope she allows you to help her. It may be the neurologist she needs to see.
I discussed with her nurses, and they said once someone decides to stop eating, there is little anyone can do. As my mother is drinking, they said it will be a very slow (as if it hasn't been long enough) decline. I will not prolong her existence with any intervention as she had said herself that she is ready to die.
You may not get any answers as to why your mother isn't eating. She may have just decided to stop eating. There will be little that you can do, especially if they aren't prepared to allow anyone to help, even with advice.
frozen berries, ensure, a spoon of protein powder, add ice if you want.
blue berries, strawberrues, frozen cherries, whatever you like. It’s good, and doesn’t taste like a protein shake, and the berries make it a pretty color too. This time I added some Keifer too..
Ceasing to eat is natural response to upper gastric discomfort or other things and could also be a sign that she's losing interest in living, a natural process.
You and your sibs need to take action to get them into care before things deteriorate further, which they will.
It's very hard, the cold reality of our parents' slow or rapid decline. I wish you all well with the coming changes.
Mother not eating after several days the body starts to shut down two weeks if nutritional is not available . Body starts to inform other parts of body to shut down . Similar to a vehicle. Proper things need provided. Is father eating. With dementia there's time they say I ate already. Fusing is because of parents thinking you trying to take away their Independence. Don't know how to tell you. Stay calm even when she's screaming .
Do any family members has POA against parents. Possible call Area For Aging best resource for information. Need call Elder Law respectfully