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Can you find the DD 214 form in your parent's belongings?
You need this form.
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I am a little confused here. Do widows of veterans necessarily get benefits?
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Sendhelp Apr 2022
Yes, they can if the vet qualified.
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The Veterans Assistance Commission could help you with much of this.
There is a BIG problem with some of the information though. There was a fire in St Louis in 1973 at the National Personnel Records Center that destroyed many records of Veterans of the Army and Air Force. So other necessary information might be scattered.
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Frances73 Apr 2022
Yes, I had to send an application to get my Dad's service record. It took several months to get a reply.
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I contacted the State Veterans Service Officer at the State of Colorado (where I live) Dept of Military & Veteran's Affairs Office. She filled out the forms FOR me, but asked that I bring in dad's discharge papers, birth certificate, etc. Aid & Attendance benefits were approved within 2 months for him *on behalf of himself and my mother*; after he passed, I contacted the same Officer to apply for mom's widow's benefits to be continued; same thing happened; within 2 months, those benefits were approved and continued via direct deposit until the day she died. I, however, had to jump thru a few hoops to be appointed Federal Fiduciary to oversee the funds were being used properly (she had dementia and lived in Memory Care AL).

See if you can contact your state's Dept of Military and Veteran's Affairs and be put in contact with the Service Officer there specifically to help you accomplish what you are trying to accomplish. You will need the service documents, however, along with other forms as the Federal government LOVES red tape and documents, as we all know *and hate*

I hope you can get this all figured out. Mom was getting $1318 a month in 2022 which helped a lot.

GOOD LUCK
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Frances73 Apr 2022
I did the same for Mom. It took a lot of paperwork and effort but it was worth it when Mom got approved for the maximum amount. The case worker assigned to us was wonderful and an enormous help and support in helping me figure out what forms and documents were needed.
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I'm not a Vet but I have a couple of suggestions. First, contact your congressional representatives (both senators and representatives, and at both state and federal levels). If you can, find one of these who is himself or herself a Vet. If you have a computer, draft an email to all of the above, save it in a word file and then just copy and paste the same thing and send it to each of them. They should all have email addresses on their individual home pages. If you don't know how to do this, a youngster (grandchild, niece, etc.) can help you with this (copying and pasting). You might want to then snail mail a copy of this to each. Sometimes you luck out and get to speak to a congressional aide who will help you. (This happened to me yesterday when I got within 15 minutes a very detailed email with information on a State bill, including when it would go into effect, what it stipulates, etc.) that directly affects me. Without this person's help, I don't think I would have been able to find the information I need, as "tracking" state legislation can be daunting.

Next piece of advice, isn't all that obvious but it might come in handy. Try to find out if there are "Veterans' Centers" at local universities and colleges (including community colleges). Usually the Director (or whatever her or his title is) is a vet. And their staff is usually made up of vets, also. In principle, these places are set up to help vets use their educational benefits, but they also have their hands in a lot of pots, and believe me (as I worked with one) they KNOW how daunting the process may be to find out what's available to vets, and how to cut through red tape so vets can actually use their benefits.

I'm not sure the VA itself is at fault here. Dealing with any kind of bureaucracy these days is difficult.

Good luck.
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Frances73 Apr 2022
I contacted both Ohio senators when I was trying to get Mom approved for an Aid and Attendance pension, one replied within days, the other took several months.
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Yes, the County Office. I was lucky, my Dads Military records were all in the same envelope he got them in. I had info the rep said he never saw before. I had a paper saying Dad was eligible for benefits. My Mom had been married before at the age 18 and for a year. She had been married to my 57 years but I had to get that first marriage certificate. The rep sat down with me and filled out the paperwork. I had to get forms from her AL and doctors. In the end, she got turned down, something to do with 13k. She only had her SS and very small pension. The assets she had would only keep her in the AL one year. I didn't appeal because she was going on Medicaid and u can't have both.

Yes, they make it hard.
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Mhousto, do you have any idea how large the VA is and how much data it has on those who served, at least as far back as WWII (I don't know if it goes back to WWI)?

Babs suggests what we did:  we went to the County VA office and got the help we needed.  The counselor had Internet access to records sources and streamlined the process immensely.

But you should at least have the DD214; all Veterans should keep that handy.
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Oh , don’t give up. I think that’s a big mistake ! And yes the VA is daunting.

Look up your states county office for VA assistance. It is not the VA , but a county office. They helped me get the forms all submitted . My mom was in another state. I used my states office.

if you cannot do the above, try your county office of aged and disability, maybe they know of someone you can hire to do this. My moms first in home care company had contacts for someone I could hire to file for my mom. I did not go this route.

your mom will need this benefit. My mom is now in memory care and receives over $1200 a month in aide and attendance benefits.
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Everyone I know that got A&A said it took a minimum of 18 months to get.

You have to admit, if it is designed to get people to just give up, it works.
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Christine44 Apr 2022
"...if it is designed to get people to just give up, it works." Sad but true. The unfortunate thing is that nowadays it seems that this tactic is being applied to more and more forms of assistance including both government agencies as well as non-profits.
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