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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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She is too sick to fly here. I need to take care of her, but I cannot move there. I work here. My children are out there and they don’t have enough time for her.
My Mom has dementia and was finally to the point she wasn't able to live alone. I had a frank discussion with her about moving to assisted living or moving to live with me - I just told her those were her only options. I moved her to my home/town from where she had lived for 45+ years. The first few months were the most difficult. She has adjusted, but still talks about going back. I try to change the subject to distract her and just move on.
Could you drive down to MO and move her that way to where you live and suggest it is only until she is better? If she doesn't improve, then her move is permanent but it doesn't have to be discussed at the time. I'm not sure of your Mom's mental acuity. You wouldn't have to sell her house or get rid of her apt for a while if it was financially feasible. My Mom and I had frank discussions when she was caring or her parents and had the same issues (no dementia problems there though). She always told me to do what I needed to do and just ignore what she said when she was old. I reminded her of those conversations several times when she moved in with my husband and I. I was still working full time but he had retired.
Can you please clarify by what "too sick" means? Does she have a disease? Dementia? Is she bedridden? How old is she? Knowing this will allow responders to make suggestions for possible transportation options.
Kimmyf, usually it is best to keep a love one in the area where they are currently living. Check around and see if there is an Assisted Living facility that your Mom can afford. If money cannot be budgeted, then contact the Missouri Dept of Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] to see what options are available that would be free to your Mom.
With your Mom being in an area she is familiar with, that gives her a routine. Example, when she turns on the local news, there are the news anchors she knows and news of areas familiar with her. When she need to go out, the streets and buildings are familiar.
Your children have their own lives, and I never was one that felt having grandchildren take care of a grandparent is a good idea. It can fuel a lot of resentment, and can break up marriages/relatinships.
You need to know what kind of budget your mother can afford. Does she own her own home? Are there assets for her to pay for long term care in Missouri?
New Jersey is a much more expensive state than Missouri. Her money would go farther in Missouri. Start looking for assisted living (ALF) that also offers higher levels of care as necessary.
You can start researching ALFs now and schedule tours for yourself. Then, take some time off work, fly to Missouri, and tour them. If you find one or two that you like and that you feel are suitable for your mother, ask to bring your mother for a tour the very next day. They will often offer you and your mom to stay for lunch.
You don't give much information so there's a limit to how much help you can get from people on this forum.
I am too from NJ the SW part. The problem in moving Mom here is health insurance. Her Medicare will go anywhere but her supplimental probably won't and if on Medicaid that won't go with her either. Medicaid criteria is a little different in each state.
You may need to take time off from work to find out what is going on and find resources available. What is wrong with Mom?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Could you drive down to MO and move her that way to where you live and suggest it is only until she is better? If she doesn't improve, then her move is permanent but it doesn't have to be discussed at the time. I'm not sure of your Mom's mental acuity. You wouldn't have to sell her house or get rid of her apt for a while if it was financially feasible. My Mom and I had frank discussions when she was caring or her parents and had the same issues (no dementia problems there though). She always told me to do what I needed to do and just ignore what she said when she was old. I reminded her of those conversations several times when she moved in with my husband and I. I was still working full time but he had retired.
With your Mom being in an area she is familiar with, that gives her a routine. Example, when she turns on the local news, there are the news anchors she knows and news of areas familiar with her. When she need to go out, the streets and buildings are familiar.
Your children have their own lives, and I never was one that felt having grandchildren take care of a grandparent is a good idea. It can fuel a lot of resentment, and can break up marriages/relatinships.
New Jersey is a much more expensive state than Missouri. Her money would go farther in Missouri. Start looking for assisted living (ALF) that also offers higher levels of care as necessary.
You can start researching ALFs now and schedule tours for yourself. Then, take some time off work, fly to Missouri, and tour them. If you find one or two that you like and that you feel are suitable for your mother, ask to bring your mother for a tour the very next day. They will often offer you and your mom to stay for lunch.
You don't give much information so there's a limit to how much help you can get from people on this forum.
You may need to take time off from work to find out what is going on and find resources available. What is wrong with Mom?