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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I think we need more info before we can really formulate a good response for you.
Is mom living with you, or you with her? Are you the sole caregiver? What is the family background that you despise her so much, as you say? How far has her dementia advanced? Is she nursing home ready, or will she be soon? Is she on Medicaid already, or just Medicare? Is there a reason she isn't in a nursing home if her dementia is advanced? You asked "I can't interact with my mother anymore. Does anyone have any insight as to what I can do?" - We need to know what advice you're looking for here - are you looking to have her placed in a nursing home, to find in-home care services, or exactly what you're looking for.
"I have learned that dementia, shall we say, amplifies the personality. Thus, if you were prone to fabrication and lies, then dementia will make those personality traits all that much more apparent. I despise my mother. I have uncovered pieces of misinformation leading all the way back to her childhood. These little "lies" directly affect me. At this point, I can't stand interacting with her. I don't mind paying the bills and all that, but I just cannot interact with her anymore. I need help from the nursing home, but when I ask, they don't seem to give me anything other than a goat-eyed stare. I'm at wits end."
Again, if you can provide a few more answers, such as to the questions I posted above, many more people will be able to help.
Also...your earlier question was only posted 2 hours ago. Despite the website saying questions are answered in 10 minutes, that's not always the case. We do our best, but most of us are caregivers too, so you might not get immediate answers, depending on who is online. Hang in there, we'll help as much as we can.
Both my parents had dementia during the last few months of their lives, and I never saw where "dementia will make those personality traits all that much more apparent". I know my Mom became a shell of herself as she couldn't communicate any longer, and my Dad had his same sense of humor that he always had right up to the last day.
I realized recently, after going to a therapist for the past 2 years, that my father has been a schizophrenic narcissist my entire life. Now he just turned 89, has had dementia for years. The schizophrenia is definitely amplified and the lies are even more gregarious. The narcissism is even worse. He lives at home with my mom. I tried to live with him for 6 months but he was incredibly abusive. Now, I absolutely do not react to any of his comments. He wants attention and wants to be the center of everything. It is easier said than done, but don't give his response any attention otherwise it encourages them.
This was a good place to turn if you can give us more info. Another place is a therapist for you to help you deal. Since she is in a NH, you never have to go again. You've got her where others are caring for her. Why don't you hire someone to check to make sure she is being well cared for and take a long break for yourself. A little distance can make a big difference. But it will take time to recover. Exercise, eat well, sleep well, try to laugh. Connect with someone who will be your friend. Talk about your mom only to the therapist if possible and if the therapist agrees. Have some mental relief from the subject. If everyone knows your story then you can't get away from it. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or work in the nursery in your church. You have to heal. Join a support group you can go to for additional support. If we've gotten it all wrong, give us more info so we can help.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is mom living with you, or you with her?
Are you the sole caregiver?
What is the family background that you despise her so much, as you say?
How far has her dementia advanced?
Is she nursing home ready, or will she be soon?
Is she on Medicaid already, or just Medicare?
Is there a reason she isn't in a nursing home if her dementia is advanced?
You asked "I can't interact with my mother anymore. Does anyone have any insight as to what I can do?" - We need to know what advice you're looking for here - are you looking to have her placed in a nursing home, to find in-home care services, or exactly what you're looking for.
These answers will help us help you.
"I have learned that dementia, shall we say, amplifies the personality. Thus, if you were prone to fabrication and lies, then dementia will make those personality traits all that much more apparent. I despise my mother. I have uncovered pieces of misinformation leading all the way back to her childhood. These little "lies" directly affect me. At this point, I can't stand interacting with her. I don't mind paying the bills and all that, but I just cannot interact with her anymore. I need help from the nursing home, but when I ask, they don't seem to give me anything other than a goat-eyed stare. I'm at wits end."
Again, if you can provide a few more answers, such as to the questions I posted above, many more people will be able to help.
Also...your earlier question was only posted 2 hours ago. Despite the website saying questions are answered in 10 minutes, that's not always the case. We do our best, but most of us are caregivers too, so you might not get immediate answers, depending on who is online. Hang in there, we'll help as much as we can.
Both my parents had dementia during the last few months of their lives, and I never saw where "dementia will make those personality traits all that much more apparent". I know my Mom became a shell of herself as she couldn't communicate any longer, and my Dad had his same sense of humor that he always had right up to the last day.
If we've gotten it all wrong, give us more info so we can help.