So my Mother-in-law is 91 and good mind , health , hearing ! My husband and I are 65 and she’s in better health than us ! We have to travel to see her every holiday , every Birthday , every Mother’s Day and it ruins my holidays ! She’s negative and demanding . Is it wrong to wish her time would end ? I’m mean I think about it all the time wondering if I ever get to live my life with my husband without her . We travel every 2 to 3 months and it’s miserable . Also when we visit she just talks to my husband , and acts like I’m not there . She’s jealous of me and has been since day we married .
So, I don't think it's the best thing to wish for someone's life to end. Instead, you need to stand up for yourself and set boundaries, etc. She could live another 10 years so don't be thinking bad thoughts all that time.
I'm a pretty kind, forgiving person. I give people lots of chances so for me to have reached this point is a perfect example of a person who used up all their chances with me and I'm done.
It sounds to me like it's time for you to be done with your M I L. No guilt necessary. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty ignore them. Easier said than done but with practice you can do it.
The feeling that you have wanting her to be gone, well that’s just normal human emotion. A person can only take so much abuse.
Just because his mother (or any adult) tells you that you "must" do something doesnt mean you have to.
The husband can go and visit her the day after Christmas.
Every holiday and even birthdays have been ruined by her for what I'm sure has been many years. Not this year. You and your husband take this year off, and most definitely MIL is jealous of you. She likely has been since the day your man put the ring on your finger. She isn't the first jealous MIL.
When MIL asks why, tell her anything you want. Like you've decided to go on a trip or to some of your family members this year. Or tell her the truth that she's such a miserable, negative, vicious pain-in-the-a$$ that you and your husband who are not young anymore yourselves, are going to celebrate Christmas together on your own this year. Tell her that neither of you will be travelling this holiday to see her this year and that she really doesn't care about seeing you, since she barely speaks to you anyway. Then let that be the end of it. Make your husband stay strong because my guess is mom will very likely try to guilt him down into the dirt about not coming. You can do it.
In the meantime, if she starts up with the vicious gossip about the family, tell her shut the hell up and no one wants to hear it.
People may think this is terrible to speak to an old person in such a way and I disagree. If someone is as you describe your MIL then they deserve to be treated this way regardless of age.
Stay strong in your refusal to travel to her this holiday season.
I wish you and your husband the happiest, drama-free Christmas holiday ever. Enjoy!
Every holiday and even birthdays have been ruined by her for what I'm sure has been many years. Not this year. You and your husband take this year off, and most definitely MIL is jealous of you. She likely has been since the day your man put the ring on your finger. She isn't the first jealous MIL.
When MIL asks why, tell her anything you want. Like you've decided to go on a trip or to some of your family members this year. Or tell her the truth that she's such a miserable, negative, vicious pain-in-the-a$$ that you and your husband who are not young anymore yourselves, are going to celebrate Christmas together on your own this year. Tell her that neither of you will be travelling this holiday to see her this year and that she really doesn't care about seeing you, since she barely speaks to you anyway. Then let that be the end of it. Make your husband stay strong because my guess is mom will very likely try to guilt him down into the dirt about not coming. You can do it.
In the meantime, if she starts up with the vicious gossip about the family, tell her shut the hell up and no one wants to hear it.
People may think this is terrible to speak to an old person in such a way and I disagree. If someone is as you describe your MIL then they deserve to be treated this way regardless of age.
Stay strong in your refusal to travel to her this holiday season.
I wish you and your husband the happiest, drama-free Christmas holiday ever. Enjoy!
Probably would create more stress and unhappiness then just staying home alone.
Every holiday and even birthdays have been ruined by her for what I'm sure has been many years. Not this year. You and your husband take this year off, and most definitely MIL is jealous of you. She likely has been since the day your man put the ring on your finger. She isn't the first jealous MIL.
When MIL asks why, tell her anything you want. Like you've decided to go on a trip or to some of your family members this year. Or tell her the truth that she's such a miserable, negative, vicious pain-in-the-a$$ that you and your husband who are not young anymore yourselves, are going to celebrate Christmas together on your own this year. Tell her that neither of you will be travelling this holiday to see her this year and that she really doesn't care about seeing you, since she barely speaks to you anyway. Then let that be the end of it. Make your husband stay strong because my guess is mom will very likely try to guilt him down into the dirt about not coming. You can do it.
In the meantime, if she starts up with the vicious gossip about the family, tell her shut the hell up and no one wants to hear it.
People may think this is terrible to speak to an old person in such a way and I disagree. If someone is as you describe your MIL then they deserve to be treated this way regardless of age.
Stay strong in your refusal to travel to her this holiday season.
I wish you and your husband the happiest, drama-free Christmas holiday ever. Enjoy!