How do we get her out of our home. We have severe born out. We do hire people to stay with her. She won't do any activities. She has Medicaid and Medicare. She knows her rights thanks to a family member
She has ruined our marriage, our health suffers. I had a heart attack. The Social Worker will find her a place she can take her dog. She refuses to go. We can't take care if her any longer..we are at witt's end. Help
Send her to the helpful family member.
Whose life is more important? Some might argue both, possibly. I would say caregiving should not be about sacrificing your health or your life!
Time to put yourself first. You have every right and responsibility to yourself.
You had heart attack, your own physician should be first person to say no stress or strenuous activities.
If she doesn’t leave, tell she’s an old person who needs to leave immediately.
Whatever works! You and your husband aren’t required to provide her with a home. I hope you find a solution to this problem soon.
Book a month long absence. (Vacation, cruise, cheap motel, Airbnb)
Report her to Adult Protective Services as a vulnerable adult.
If she is found to be competent, start eviction proceedings.
Unless she is living in her own home and you've moved in with her.
In that case, simply leave.
Do you or your spouse still work? If yes, good as it helps with one's sanity. I was still in my 70's and continued with my career, same with my spouse. Work was also a good "excuse". Oh, the stress is still there because the weekends are no longer fun weekends... [sigh].
Many of us here had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 is called, parent goes into the hospital, then into rehab, and then into senior living. That was the only way I was able to get my own Mom [also was in her late 90's] to go into senior living, she had a bad fall because she also wouldn't use walker or her cane. Dad was the opposite, he sold their house after Mom passed as he wanted to move into senior living.
What's she going to do -- file a lawsuit for wrongful eviction??
Time for you and hubby to go on vacation - I like that idea. If is safe for her to be alone, then do that. Otherwise, hire more care and do not be available to her for ruining your vacation. Or have her go to respite care.
So sorry for your very difficult situation.
longer care for MIL and there is going to be no more outside help coming .
I’m assuming the social worker has already determined that MIL can’t live alone since you posted that the social worker can find her a place . Hopefully the social worker can arrange to have her removed from your home by a big scary dude .
( I was in a similar situation as well with my mother when a family member did the same thing . I had a social worker come from APS and she determined Mom could not be home alone , she needed 24 hour supervision . A week before the social worker was due to come back with the scary dude to take mom out of the house, my dumb sister told my aunt . My aunt called up my mother and told her that her kids were dumping her in a nursing home and that she didn’t have to go. Mom ended up having a mini mental breakdown on top of her Dementia. Called 911 , Mom wouldn’t go ,so EMTs left . Then mom said she had chest pain. Called 911 again , this time they took her to the ER. No heart attack , but I told them the story. They admitted her for observation . From there she went to her room at AL that she was scheduled to go to.)
Or if the social worker says she is safe to live on her own which I doubt, you start eviction notice.
Or family member with big mouth takes her in .
You have rights , it’s your house .
We don't know how to deal with her bad behaviour. Does a medical durable poa allow us to place her anywhere?
I 'love' that at 97 she's worried she'll look old. Good grief!