My mother has been in ICU for three days, I was suspecting sepsis and I was unfortunately right.
My sister visited her 2 days ago,and she said she responded to her saying "I'm okay calm down" doctors said she might not be conscious, I've been with her for three days when we first called emergency services. Sadly the medical care in my country sucks and we've been to 3 different hospital in 3 days before they finally admitted her to ICU.
She was puking, had a really bad fever, sweating and couldn't sit straight when we first called 911. She was awake but she wouldn't make eye contact and she couldn't speak so I know back then she was not conscious.
My question is,although I dread the thought, my mother never would want to die in a hospital bed and rather be surrounded by her family. My grandma had experienced this from my father's side,asked my uncle to get her released from the hospital, he didn't and her last words was "I do not have a son like you".
My mom is claustrophobic, and she gets her strength from her family,so the question is, if she recognizes who she is talking to, and respond to them, is she conscious?
Just adding I hope you get some clarity and things begin to look more positive soon.
So enjoy the fact that she's still with you and hopefully she will continue to improve.
Why not speak to the doctors about her prognosis rather than try to figure out whether she's going to die in the hospital and whether you should bring her home and stop treating her in the ICU? Mom being 'claustrophobic' has nothing at all to do with anything, unless she's 'tied down' in her hospital bed. So just keep your eyes on the big picture here, and that is whether the doctors feel that she will recover from the sepsis and be able to come home in good health; not come home to die. That's my advice to you.
Sending you a big hug and a prayer that mom will recover and come home in great shape to her loving family who's awaiting her arrival.
The reason I feel hopeless is because she had an amputation on her right toes and the wound still hasn't closed up due to infection still residing in her body.
Now her middle toe on her left food was also becoming infected and she was visiting doctor's office weekly to get new antibiotics every month or two because her body became immune to certain antibiotics.
Tomorrow, my uncle will visit her and on Wednesday, I will. The doctors told us to "be open to any news" as we were admitting her to the ICU, we haven't received any bad news, but neither have received good ones either.
Doctors told my sister on Friday that she might have to be intubated because she was having trouble breathing.
I just feel lost overall, and don't know what is the right thing to do.
I don't think that you understand what is meant by "concious" or "unconcious" medically.
People who can't speak are not necessarily unconscious.
If they incubate her, they will most likely sedate her:
"The need for sedative therapy in critical care adults receiving mechanical ventilation is well established; 85% of intensive care unit (ICU) patients are given intravenous sedatives to help attenuate the anxiety, pain, and agitation associated with mechanical ventilation."
Does your mom have an advanced directive that tells her medical team how she wants serious medical issues dealt with?
My mom had sepsis (she was 91). She had an advanced directive that said "no intubation" but when she was taken to the hospital and had trouble breathing and wanted "help" they used a Bi-Pap machine to help her breathe. They did sedate her, but she came through and survived.
They intubated her, we know a doctor in the hospital he called ICU and they told him that her liver and kidney functions is deteriorating.
She is sedated, but she responded (what my uncle says) when she heard him by moving her arms and legs. Could've been a twitch, i do not know. I will visit her the day after but I don't know what to do.
She is been ICU since Friday and today is Tuesday. I could never come in terms with her passing, but if she is going to, passing away while she is away from her family and connected to machines, barely conscious would be the last thing she'd want, and I'm so torn apart about it.
Is 4 days in ICU enough for improvement? As I have mentioned earlier, she sadly developed tolarance to certain antibiotics, and I really don't know whether they can heal her. She is strong wise and I know she'll put a legendary war, but if her body cannot do it, I don't know what to do.
Please someone, should I discharge her, even with sedatives I know she becoming conscious from time to time and being alone there would destroy her. Let alone the complications from her Intubation and continued use of sedatives on her already compromised (due to diabetes and infection) system. She has amputations on her left foot (her toes wound still didn't close due to infection) and Im afraid tissue death on her right middle toe.
If she has to go, I want her to go peacefully and being connected to machines from almost every opening of her body is not peaceful.
What should I do? My sister agrees with me on getting her discharged, while my brother and father do not.
You cannot discharge someone on a ventilator and your Mom is unlikely to survive for discharge if it is removed.
She is almost certainly medicated below level of dreams and much you are seeing is involuntary; it is the only way to keep someone from "bucking" the vent, which interferes with it breathing for her.
I am so sorry.
If you could get your Mom released from the hospital [which wouldn't be easy] is her home set up with a hospital bed? A ventilator? And anything else that would be required?
Has the doctor or Staff mentioned Hospice? Chances are they may have talked to your father about this. Hospice may already be part of her care.
Also note, if your Mom is discharged against medical advice, the next time that she goes back into the hospital with the same medical issue, her health insurance may not pay for her care, it would be out of pocket.
I finally visitted my mother, and her doctors said that she was responding to antibiotics and her kidneys were a bit better. They also told me that she was still in critical state, but I guess I can take it as good news?
On the topic on Intubation, they said that they weren't using drugs to sedate her and she was passed out and unconscious which is why she was intubated. They are waiting for her to regain coinciousness to take her off of it I guess.
She didn't look as bad as I had imagined and her blood pressure was fine as opposed to IV bags in ER dedicated only to raise her BP.
Intubation caused a wound in her mouth, so I suppose it is expected?
I don't know whether I should feel better or not but just wanted to share with you all.
Thank you again, to all of you for your kind words and informing me on these things.
Please reply to this if you want to know anything, I try to check here everyday.
Thanks again.
Recovering from Sepsis can also take a long time, and she may never be the same.
If her organs are no longer deteriorating, that's wonderful.
Keeping a good thought for her. ((((Hugs))))
They called from the hospital, and called us in for deciding and singning papers.
They decide to cut a small hole below her throat to intubate her from there, the main reason was they weren't expecting her the come off of cipap yet due to her not regaining her consciousness.
They told me that they cut off to medication to sedate her and gave her an "antidote" for it to wake her up but she wasn't responsive.
My dad visited her afterwards and she opened her eyes when she heard him, twice. But sadly didn't maintain eye contact and moved her head. I don't know what to think, they keep saying she is not concious but she reacted to every single one of her family visiting her.
The doctor told me that she was delicious/agitates when they first admitted her to ICU.
Are they trying to keep her silent by intubating her? I live in a sh*t country (Turkey) and even though I don't want to think this is not the case,it might be a reality, maybe? I really don't know what to think as she responded to EVERY ONE OF HER FAMILY.
We also (not %100) have the chance to admit her to a different hospital where they have separate ICU rooms and allow 1 family member to stay with her 24/7. I'm going to ask around if that hospital's care is better, but do you think it would be possible for her to be transported to different hospital? I feel her regaining coinciousness and seeing her family whenever she open her eyes would be better for her but I'm biased and I don't know if it is the right decision, transporting her to a different hospital, is it safe?
What do you guys think?
I am so sorry for what you're going through. I don't know what to say, esp since you are not in the US or UK and that's what most of us are most familiar with.
People can, and will, respond to the sound and presence of their own 'people' even when deeply sedated or even in a coma like state. I would hang on to hope, but prepare for the worst.
I have no idea if they are giving her the best care available, sadly neither do you.
I would be working hard to have her moved to a better hospital if that is even a remote possibility.
Again--I have zero knowledge of the medical systems in Turkey. My heart hurts for you--you want what's best and the best outcome, but you're stuck with what the drs tell you.
Transporting to another facility is always fraught with difficulties, but I hope you can do that, safely, if possible.
If there could be a family member with her 24/7 you would have a better handle on what's happening.
They sedate people who are incubated (it sounds like they did a tracheostomy) to keep them from pulling out the tunes (this happened with my husband after open heart surgery--he opened his eyes, found a tube down his throat and started to try to pull it out). It was hard for them to restrain him when he'd just had his chest sewn back together, but they did.
It sounds like they are doing their best, but that she is in pretty dire shape. ((((Hugs)))))
Thank you for being with me through this incredibly hard time, although they did get our permission for tracheostomy, they decided against it as my mother became concious!!
My brother went in and she responded to him by blinking as she is still intubated and can't speak. I broke the rules and had to see it myself and I also went in and she acknowledged every little thing I told her!
Although I couldn't withold my tears, I overloaded her with positivity and showed her, her wedding ring on my finger alongside with a ring she never took off and told her that they were weighting me down on my finger and she needs to come home and take her rings from me! She blinked, confirming it, while keeping eye contact with me. It broke my heart seeing her like that but also brought incredible joy as she was able to hear and understand and doctors finally said she is concious.
Doctors said they'll keep her intubated until Monday (hopefully sooner) for to be on the safe side.
She was still running fever but her breathing came down to 23 24 per minute as opposed 40s on Wednesday when I visited her.
They also told me they're checking whether antibiotics are working or not regularly and changing them as soon they're not as effective.
Please, always be with your loved ones for me, if they are still with you, kiss and hug them for me also. Just my Mom recognizing the things I said was enough to bring tears to my eyes and if they are not with you, may them rest in peace and be happy wherever they are.
As always, I'll update you as I receive news, my sister will be visiting tomorrow hopefully, and on Monday, me, hopefully without the intubation!