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My mother has battled bipolar depression for years. Her husband had a stroke back in 2005. I was out of state and it was agreed that my step father’s sister would help look after them. She quickly filed for guardianship of my step dad, leaving my mother without support. Shortly after moving back into their home after my step father’s stroke, the home became unlivable and she went to live with my brother. I want my mom back in her home close to her husband, now of over 40 years, and their IRA to pay for home repairs. I’ve had contact with the sister and she claims the IRA can not be touched because the nursing home would get it all and my step father would lose his SSI and Medicaid. This doesn’t seem right. How is it my mother loses assets and her husband? I don’t understand how this can happen to an elderly, disabled woman and I have come home to Texas to help her! Is it too late?

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To begin with, if there is an IRA that belongs to both of them - it should have been reported when he went into a Medicaid bed. You need to contact the nearest Medicaid office and apply for Medicaid for both of them and tell them - they are still married, they own a home together and all assets they had at the time he entered the nursing home. They do not remove all of the income from the spouse who lives outside the nursing home.

How old are they? Does she get social security or SSI. If they both get SSI, it may be possible they never reported having an IRA. You should be able to move her back into her home and you/your brother provide care for her in that home.

I realize it's very possible we don't have enough info here. Was it his home before your mom came into the picture. Are they legally married (or common law married - valid in Texas as long as they told people they were married, she used his last name, they filed joint taxes together or some other method they used to hold out to the public that they were husband and wife).

Go to the Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) office to apply for help. I used to work with them and they can guide you and help you with the application process. You could also apply online, but since you have some problems already, I think it best if you fill out the application and get an appointment to talk to someone in person. It's never too late.
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You should get an attorney but proceed with caution. We went to an elder care attorney which cost us well over $100k and still lost my mother’s estate. The corrupt lawyers and judges are all together on estates and guardianship abuse.
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Onelove937 Feb 2020
Omigosh ship2shore - I'm so sorry that this happened to your mom! You paid over $100k?? What on earth did they do for you that it cost that much??
I was initially very upset that we paid $10k - but the estate planning package the attorney put together is rock solid - I'm finally able to relax my mind about my mom losing her home and assets.

Are you 100% sure there's nothing you can do to to regain control of your mom's estate? There are avenues you can use to report that attorney, and the judge too!! Don't just let them get away with that sh*t!!
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Get to an elder law attorney immediately!
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Definitely reach out to an elder Care attorney at your state's bar association.
Explore with them also about the validity of a guardian with him having a wife. Unless she has been deemed incompetent that should be overturned easily.
Best of luck
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worriedinCali Feb 2020
There is no reason to question the validity of the guardianship. It was done through the court and court appointed. It doesn’t matter if the OPs mom is competent or not. Either she didn’t fight the guardianship or the judge felt she wasn’t the right choice. The mother is bipolar. The courts will not appoint a guardian for competent people. A spouse doesn’t have the rights you probably think they do. The guardian can do more than a spouse.
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Please RUN, don't walk - to an elder care attorney! I can tell you that I recently went to one, to help me with my 84 year old mother's Elder planning, and I'm so happy that I did. Mom has later-stage dementia and is rapidly declining. The attorney handled everything from A to Z - putting mom's house into a trust so that if she needs nursing home care at some point down the road, her house and assets will be safe. She set up POA so I can make any needed financial decisions. She updated mom's Will, as my stepfather was named a beneficiary but has since passed away. Then she also set up a Living Will, Advance Directive, and everything else you could imagine. She’ll also handle the Medicaid application process when or if mom needs a nursing home. I won’t have to deal with ANY of that - and my time and focus will be free to look after my mom! I couldn’t be more pleased. Yes, it was expensive but it’s worth every penny - plus, the attorney fees are a great way to spend down some of mom’s cash. The attorney also advised me to use some of the money and pre-pay funeral expenses now, to lock in current prices and again spend down some of mom’s cash assets to ensure her Medicaid eligibility. All bases will be covered - and you’ll have peace of mind and the freedom to take care of your mom without worries. Also, you can have them check into whatever your mom’s SIL has done, to make sure your mom has not been put into a bad position. I hope this helps a little. Hang in there.
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imtheparentnow Feb 2020
I am so glad to hear of your wonderful experience with your Elder Care Lawyer. I am in the process of getting the info over to one for my parents. I hope mine can help me as much as yours did. Good Luck!
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Please see an elder law attorney TOMORROW.

Can you take a friend with you to help take notes, ask questions, and suss out what the action steps would be from the attorney?

And, please be extra vigilant regarding your father’s sister’s Guardianship. There is a nationwide crackdown on predator Guardians. It’s a horrific scenario. Fraudulent attorneys and nursing homes are also involved, so be careful.

If you can, pull up Ship2Shore’s posts on this forum about the Guardianship issues. Articles are included. What happened to her mom and her family as a result of a predator Guardian was absolutely devastating.

You also might want to join CEAR group on Facebook to learn more about this. It’s good information to know and be ready to fight the battles.

I apologize for the directness of my post; however, you must protect your parents by acting quickly. Hope all goes well. Hugs to you.
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I would suggest an elder attorney. They are the experts in Medicaid law. In my state, spouses are prevented from impoverishment. There are calculations made that determine how the spouse in the community can remain in the community should their partner need nursing home level of care. In terms of the IRA, I think that that's an issue where the elder lawyer is well versed. If the step father is in a facility receiving care in a facility I'm surprised that the facility hasn't requested that the SSI be signed over to them and Medicaid notified that he is residing in a facility. How are his expenses being paid?
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Aside from what the others have said - it's possible that your mother may not be mentally "well" enough to return to her home to live in - no matter how badly you "want her back in her home." Also, if the home became "unlivable," it may be because your mother does not have the mental wherewithal to take care of routine home repair. She may be safer living in an apartment that is elderly-friendly, close to your father.

Sorry, but if the IRA was your father's, you and your mother cannot touch it for "home repairs." (That's why they call it an "individual" retirement account.) I
should mention that starting at age 70, a person must take some distributions from their IRA; it cannot just "sit there." (I don't know your father's age.) Depending on the type of IRA, there is a "minimum required distribution" that must be taken at 70. However, at 59.5, a person may begin withdrawing money from their IRA without tax penalty.

If you mother is over 62, surely she qualifies for some Social Security as income. Does she have any pension from previous employment?

An elder attorney should be able to help you establish some income sources for your mother.
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as everyone here has stated call an attorney. Do it today. Each day you wait is a day this woman has to manipulate the situation.
There most likely is a Sr advocacy group at the county or state level of family services
You need to get a look at the records. IE the will her guardianship document.

get educated as to what the laws are in your state and the federal laws.

Be sure to take VERY good notes in your discussions with her, atorneys anyone. you engage. All these people seem to be good at forgetting.
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The commenters are correct. This is one time you do need to consult a local elder-care attorney, pronto.
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You can only touch IRA of Spouse if you have POA. My husband has Alzheimer's and I just discovered small IRA , My fault I wasnt aware as I do taxes. Bank would not even confirm it existed without POA.
Please contact elder attorney. Well worth the cost
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You need to consult with an Elder Care Attorney.
I can only echo what Countrymouse , JoAnn29 and Mountainmose have said as well as a few others.
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You definitely should get independent professional advice on your mother's behalf. If your mother owned these assets jointly with your stepfather, then it needs to be confirmed that her needs and her interests were taken into account while his care was being planned. And even if she didn't own anything outright, she still has rights as his wife - she can't just forgotten all about.

They are still married, are they? How was your mother's SIL able to get guardianship so quickly: because your mother was unwell at the time?

Did the SIL agree that she would look after both of them? Do you think she understood what she was committing to?

But fifteen years ago... it's probably not fair to look back and judge too critically. And besides that doesn't change anything NOW. It sounds possible that your mother's SIL perhaps doesn't want to tinker with a system that she's had set up for years and would rather just leave things be. You can understand why, but then... it's not up to her :)

Is your mother still living with your brother?

Be your mother's advocate, find her good advice, and best of luck to all of you.
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Get an attorney! Sounds like you need professional advice. Best of luck to you.
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Mountain is correct about the IRA. Its probably under SFs name. Mom could be a beneficiary but its not hers. Yes, a guardian has certain duties and has to report to the State every year.

Do you mean Social Security or Supplimental Income when you say SSI. If Supplimental income and Medicaid for health maybe effected if its cashed in. Cashing it in now becomes income. But, that is a question for Medicaid.

You need to see a lawyer to protect Mom. She is still married to SF and she has rights.
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Disclaimer: I am not an attorney.

First, an IRA is an INDIVIDUAL account. It cannot be owned by two people. It cannot even be placed into a trust. Whose name is on the IRA? If it's in his name, only he (or I'm guessing his guardian) can remove money from it. So, it's possible the sister's correct. Side note: depending on which type of IRA, that money removed may be taxable or not taxable (Roth), and of course the timing of the removal.

I can't go any further, but you really do need an elder attorney to advise you as to your mother's rights, including information about that IRA. States have different laws.

While you're at the attorney's, bring up about the step-dad's and your mother's home being unlivable. The sister-guardian is not doing her job to have the home cleaned and maintained.
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It is time to lawyer up! Too complicated to try and figure out on your own! Good Luck!
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Yes, consult with an elder law attorney. It will be worth every penny.
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You need to see an elder law attorney that can explain Texas law to you.
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