He can't walk or take care of himself in any way. He's on hospice now. He can't be left alone at all. I'm doing 12 hrs a day (35 min drive each way) and my brother is doing the other 12 hrs. We both have families to take care of. When this first began we thought it would be for only a couple of weeks, but now know this could go on indefinitely. I told my brother that I can no longer do this and our father needs to be in a nursing home. My brother is hesitant to "pawn him off on somebody" and says my dad will refuse to go. I have put down a deadline of one week to make a decision and get the ball rolling to a more permanent solution. Any help or insight would be appreciated!!
Regarding your Dad, first thing is to ask Hospice what they think the time line would be? If Hospice feels the timeline could be months out, then arranging for your Dad to go to a nursing home is a good idea, if Dad can pay the monthly cost. If cost is a factor, then get the ball rolling to get him onto Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].
In a nursing home, one isn't pawned off to someone else, the employees are dedicated workers, each with a skill to handle different situations. There does come a time where it now take a village to care for a love one, and the time is now. Plus Hospice will still be part of the picture.