She lives in an independent living apartment, but always asks to live with me. That is not an option. I am a recent widow trying to get my life back together again. She doesn't try to make any friends and won't participate in any activities in her facility. Only wants to be with me. I feel guilty not letting her live with me, but I know it would make me crazy as we are very different people. Looking for some advice.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I think it's a wise move not to move your mother in with you; on paper, these things always seem like they could work out. But then in reality, things rarely work out.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
My grandmother is currently in IL and on a waitlist for a place in Extendicare. She really needs the extra support. When the time comes to move her, it's going to be, "We found you a nicer apartment!" and that's it.
I appreciate your kind words. Thanks.
Of course at her age they resist change but does she really have any other options? No, so you don’t have to feel guilty but you should feel good about doing what is best for both of you.
Both of you matter, not just your mom. You are equally important. I think you’re a rational person to realize that it would not be wise to move her into her home.
As for mom, the only thing that is necessary for her is proper care. She will learn to adjust. Even if she doesn’t, there isn’t another alternative. Be at peace with finding a better suited facility for her.