My step mom, whom I've been estranged from, is in a nursing home, I was told. Her only daughter and blood relative died last week. Any advice?

Would neighbors know? Contact the local police and ask them what to do. They might be able to give you some ideas.

Yvette1, do you know who was your Step-Mom's Power of Attorney? Was it her late daughter, or maybe someone outside of the family? If you believe there is no longer a Power of Attorney, then the State would have appointed someone.

As for finding Step-Mom's current address you may try this..... I remember many years ago one could mail a letter to an address and write on the envelope "New Address Request" and circle it. The Post Office than would send back that envelope to your attention with the yellow label showing the new address.

You can also try Google your Step-Mom's name and see what shows up. There are a lot of websites that has everyone's name, address, telephone number, and who else lives at that location. It's not always correct, my names shows that I live with my ex-hubby and his wife... NOT.

Is your step mom in long term care and will stay there for the rest of her life, or is she in the NH for rehab and expected to come home? Or are you unsure? Who told you she was in a NH? Is she is on Medicaid? If so, you don't need to worry about your step mom losing anything. Are there any other family members involved?

I doubt if she could lose “everything” if her bills aren’t paid. She can be in arrears and pay penalties like a lot of other people. Your goal is to inherit the house? And you need to get in to find wills, deeds, whatever? Do you intend to look after her once you find her?

You've been estranged from your stepmother. Who owns the house? Do you want to inherit it? If your stepmother's name is on the deed and she's in the SNF for LTC via Medicaid, the house will be taken as payment.

So is this only about the house, which maybe you think you could inherit? If not,, then why do anything at all? Your stepmother is not your responsibility.

You can contact the Assessors Office where the house is located and do a search. It will tell you the owner of the property or Who is paying property taxes. In some areas you can do this on line. It is all public record. Where I am I did not need a PIN for the property I just searched by address.

Stepmom will likely be made ward of the state now, unless you decide you want to find her and get involved. You likely should have an interest as the property could possibly pass on to you now. Let's suppose stepmom passes away relatively quickly and doesn't accrue a large medical or NH bill. You would then possibly inherit the property. If stepmom is on LTC Medicaid though and lives a long time, Medicaid will put a lien on the home, and if that happens you really don't want to have anything to do with it. The house will sit and rot, and you definitely don't want to get involved and spend money on its upkeep. You need to track her down and see what is going on. I would try the local hospital to see if you could find out if she went from there to a NH. You may or may not get anywhere because of HIPPA laws, but who knows. Tell them you are her daughter. You could also call the state's elder services to see what they say. They may want to find you anyway, as they'd rather have family take over the affairs than go into appointing guardians.

Call the NHs in the area she lived. Ask for the room# of Jane Doe because you want to send a card. They will either tell you no one there by that name and you say sorry this is the Home I was given or get a room#. If you get the rm number, ask for the Administrator and tell them the situation. He maybe glad they found a family member.

The house, thats am exempt asset. If she is on Medicaid the house will need to be kept up by someone else because SMs SS and any pension is being used to offset the cost of her care. If no one is willing to keep it up, it needs to be sold for her care. If its kept till her death it becomes an asset that Medicaid can recover from. If no one is willing to pay the lien put on by Medicaid, the house will need to be sold and the lien satisfied. The beneficiaries will get the balance of the proceeds.

IMO unless you are in SMs Will I doubt if you would inherit anything. Your Dads Will, if he passed, would have had to leave his half to you maybe upon SMs death or if sold it for u to inherit. If SM left the house to the daughter, it may go to her children. Or nieces/nephews if no children. Blood relatives first, which you aren't.

I may see a lawyer before I go further.

The State has almost certainly taken over her care and guardianship now that the caregiver/POA/guardian (or whatever the daughter was) is gone. You would not be allowed to take over in a circumstance where she was unable to appoint you (competency). You certainly can check in the area where she lived if you want to check up on her. I would not worry about the circumstances of her possessions; in the case of her losing her only living relative the State will have access to that information and likely take on guardianship by the state.

So what’s your goal? It sounds like you were not actually estranged from SM but had estrangement from her daughter who controlled access over her mom / your SM & now daughter has died. That’s a different dynamic. So were you & SM on good terms before her daughter intervened? What abt your son, did he view SM as his grannie? Would either you or your son want to get reinvolved with SM life and take over dealing with her care, the costs of her care & her home? If SM was placed in a facility as it was an emergency situation as daughter hospitalized and now dead, any idea IF, again IF, SM might be ok to be back living in her home if you were to move in and be there for her along the same lines as her daughter did and IS THIS what you are mulling over doing?

if this is your goal, you need to get an atty who does guardianships who is based in the city / county where SM lives. Costs are on you, maybe 5-10K, and no guarantee that you would be appointed. It’s my experience that judges do not like appointing guardians who do not live in their jurisdiction; but might be ok with your atty being named guardian and then you move in, get SM back into her home, get all resettled, then ask for a hearing maybe 6 mos from now to have you named guardian. If your son, who lives there (right?) has a job, good credit score and can be viewed as a solid member of the community, he might could be named guardian if he can have the atty establish he had a relationship with his granny.

if SM is currently under an emergency ward of the state action, that was done by a judge in probate court and there will be paperwork on this that is public record. Your atty can easily find all this out as how most courts are set up is that atty’s have an account with the court with access via their bar card. It’s all online, easy peasy to get the docket, hearing info, do filings etc. If there’s medical records that’s not viewable, but everything else is there. Atty who do guardianships will know the guys who get the emergency ward of the State placements too. This sort of info not a DIY realistically.

On property details, that’s info imo you can DIY as tax assessor/ collector 4 most places have this online. Some places have it as land records so it’s in Chancery court. But it’s there as publicly available documents available free or smallish fee for a download. Personally I’d go online and pay to download all documents attached to the property back to the time your dad & SM bought it b4 ever meeting with an atty. Cause if home is actually in daughters name, then it’s her heirs as per her will or her lineal heirs if she died intestate to deal with.

In my not an attorney opinion, it’s only if house is in SM name that it might - might - matter for you later on as you could be lineal heir based on your dad if SM left everything to her daughter who is dead so when SM dies her estate has to cast for heirs. But unless SM has a huge amount of money so that interim guardian never ever has to look to Medicaid to pay for her care and has $ to pay all property costs for couple of years and that house is worth ton of $, would there be $. You’d need to be doing this & becoming her guardian, advocate and companion out of a sense of familial responsibility for your SM without necessarily benefiting financially.

Yes, speaking with her old neighbors & church is a great idea to find out where SM may be.

Call the police or sheriff in her area.
There is a program having to do with family's rights to find family, have a welfare check done.
I forgot what it is called.
They may be able to locate your step mother.

Have you tried a boots on the ground approach, ask a neighbor in person?
Or send your son to the house.

Or, ask the friend of your son who had the information and had asked the question to your son.