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I went to a wedding a few years ago and there were some ill grandparents moaning (pain?) throughout the ceremony. This completely spoiled the wedding and was even a little scary. They probably didn’t even know they were there. This was extremely sad and upsetting for all the guests.

If your parents are able to sit quietly and enjoy, by all means, have them there. Hire someone (or 2 people) to completely get them ready, to sit with them throughout the event and to take them home. If you can’t hire someone, appoint a family member to help in this way.

Give yourself a break for this special family event.
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NYDaughterInLaw Apr 2019
I agree with everything you wrote except "If you can’t hire someone, appoint a family member to help in this way." No one wants to be appointed to take care of two old and confused people with lots of medical problems.
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I'll start by asking how well do they even know/remember your son? You don't say that your mom has dementia but since they are both in memory care I assume she must have some cognitive decline as well. I vote to find other ways to share the excitement of the day with them - if you type "weddings" into the site search you'll see this isn't an uncommon problem and people have come up with many creative solutions!
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