I just hope my mom will stay the sweet person I used to know ( so far so good and she's diagnosed with moderate advance dementia) and I sure hope for myself not to become a narcicist burden for my loved ones if I followed my mom on this terrible path.
Dementia, or just getting old and losing independence, tends to make many people more self-absorbed, especially if their needs are not being met, as cwillie says. And dementia confuses the needs issue. For example, someone who can't remember that she's had visitors every day this week may complain that no one ever visits her.
Neither my husband nor my mother became narcissistic burdens during their dementia.
The good thing about it is that with dementia, I have found it to be like the weather. She can wake up in a cranky mood refusing food, refusing to get dressed, and be nice but then 20 minutes later when I turn on the music, have her all dressed despite her protests and have a freshly cooked cheese egg placed in front of her, she will smile and thank me.
I think caring for someone means you have to adjust your way of reacting to them to meet the needs of them. So if smiling and being happy even when they have kept you up all night, will change their mood into a happy mood, then so be it. If cooking an egg, because they didn't want the oatmeal or cereal they thought they wanted, means they eat for you, then so be it. I just try to not let the attitude get to me. Not let her telling me that I'm a mean person because I dressed her in the morning or that I'm mean because I raised my voice after her saying 'what' 5 times to my previous normally spoken tone, ruin my day.
Keep your chin up, take care of yourself and try to remember her attitude doesn't have to be yours. You didn't make her be so mean and you can prevent her from making you be mean back.