This is new to me and I feel I've fallen off a precipice with Navigating Medicaid mindfield, mom lives off SS, no assets, has been moved from her life-long hometown and wants to GO HOME (is that too much to ask?). Home is 2.5 hours away from me and I've used all vacation running down there to tend to her. I've moved her into a facility near me (as of 5 days ago), have had to have her dog put down because no one to care for it, which was/is gutwrenching for me, and I'm all alone in this living h*ll. Right now, what I mostly need is emotional support; once I pull myself together, I'll need more technical and logistical support. But for now, I need a lifeline.
TRY? and look at the positives shes SAFE shes near you AND youre not caring for her 24/7. Its all new to you so give yourself a break and time to deal with her going into a home first! I know mum may have to go into one soon as im finding this stressful and have siblings who dont help much they have no idea how hard this is!
Youre mums being looked after so try and get the paperwork sorted while shes adapting to the home maybe do not visit too much in the beginning i know that sounds harsh but i know alot here were told to give them time to adjust! Of course they want to go home they think they can do everything but they cant trying to tell them that is just exhausting they just dont get it.
There will be others here to help you as mum is not in a home yet? But we know how you feel. I think you will eventually get used to this and so will your mum also they could be happy there but put on an act for you?
Its all too much and early days just take it easy and do it little by little it will all turn out in the end and you will find us all here in the same boat!
Hugs its hard but shes now closer to you so thats a bit less stressful!
Take care of yourself - get some physical exercise, try to get enough sleep, reduce your stress in other areas of your life if possible, so that you can manage the extra stress of caregiving. You have a new normal now and you just have to do the best you can. Reach out here often to ask questions, get answers or just to vent. We understand! Hugs to you as you start on this journey.
What I learned was to do the best you can do. It might not be always appreciated, valued and often criticized. Please know you are not alone. It is difficult to take on by yourself; but often when others are involved and don't agree with what you are doing - it can be twice as stressful. Both from unsolicited advice and from those family members that simply don't want to be involved.
I'm so sorry you had to put the dog down - especially all on your own - as you said that is gut wrenching.
Bless you for all you are doing for your mother and hugs across the miles. Take care of yourself as best you can.
It's late here...I'm over-tired (from a relatively sleepless night of care-giving, by the way)...and I simply didn't think before I typed.
Mea culpa.
(Thanks, Littletonway. You're exactly right.)