Married to Dad (WW2 vet) for almost 50 yrs, divorced about 20 yrs ago, neither remarried. I've been told that she MAY be entitled to something called Spousal Impoverishment benefits. She still gets a couple hundred $$ in alimony plus about $850 in SS. Meanwhile, he's living at a beautiful, new VA facility (free of charge, I might add). He was mean, abusive (in every sense of the word), explosive, distant and probably hid (still hiding) lots of $$ somewhere, with the help of my brother (who ISN'T helping Mom or me, by the way).
I'm actually in the middle of an on-line chat right now with an "e-how" attorney from SFO (only $9.95, 100% money back guarantee), which might save about $200! I'll let you know.
For Medicaid, the entire household income is factored in.
As far as the VA, I think that the only criteria that won't be met will be the length of his service and whether he technically "resigned."
This is from the VA website:
"...some former military spouses are entitled to benefits even after the marriage ends. Federal laws provide some protections to former spouses of service members regarding retirement pay..."
From what I'm reading, I don't think your mom (as a divorced spouse) can get VA benefits for your dad, but I'd contact the VA at this toll-free number to inquire to get the right answer for sure: 1-800-827-1000.