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Mom cant come back to her home from rehab due to red flag?? Mom has dementia got confused/paranoid after a medication change unbenounced to me was wondering around bedrm & fell during night she has been stabalized at hosptal.I am her live-in caregiver,a nurse and daughter. & now i am told of a red flag about a call to adult protection is hindering her discharge home No more information was given to me or mom! how and who to talk to.to find out what this is about? I can only guess it was visiting nurses . mom refused a few visits because she saw the dr that same day and refused aid for shower. I told them no for her. .so could this affect my future job seeking as a nurse? I did nothing wrong but why were we reported?? VERY UPSET Someone should at least let us know something is a miss. Could it be nurse to nurse competition? They did overcharge mom for days they were not here and $400 home visit for a blood pressure check. which is outrageous. what do i do ? mom doesnt want to go nursing home i promised to care and have long term ins to help

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I would make a martini and watch Judge Judy. There are so many times that I just want to say to family and friends "then you take her!" Everyone has great ideas and no one else is in the trenches except for the lovely people on this website. Right now my dear Mother is pacing in front of the room because I am on the computer. So annoying but I have finally figured out that no one else in my family is going to do this job and when I get burned out I will be the "selfish" one. I take it one day at a time and try and find some joy where I can.
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wow. I am way off then. Seems to me if there is no info or investigation there is no red flag and someone is trying to fill a bed. Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you. In 2008 a "rehab facility" kept MIL bed ridden and wheelchair bound even though she could walk. They insisted she had at least 3 hours of physical therapy each day. I observed the PT... it was more like 20min. the balance of the time was waiting in line down the hall. The bottom line was they were setting her up for long term. I had to sign all kinds of legal documents and had all kinds of suits try to stop the removal from the "rehab facility". The problem was they knew she owned her home. Did you contact APS yourself? This is no time to leave things to others. I believe you only have 20 days care in the "rehab facility" with Medicare then the balance of the 100 days you have to pay a daily co pay. Goggle your local APS office... if you have a case number that makes things easier but talk to whom ever will listen, but cut to the chase you want to know about the red flag and how to get it removed. When ever you talk to these agencies it is best to be to the point and try not to go off on tangents, less is more. You'll need to have all your papers together...POA and medical authorizations etc. You can do this. For the next few days you will be lawyer instead of Nurse.
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I would start with the social worker who is part of the discharge planning team, or if that hasn't produced results, patient advocate. I would not upset myself with speculation, find out what they are seeing.
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Hello babylamb, I sure can sympathize with you. My mother (who lives with us) wrote a letter to a "friend" who had ties with the police. She told this friend that food was being withheld, that she felt she was "in prison", had no privacy, wasn't "allowed" out, etc., etc. none of which was true. This "friend" went to the police who then had the elder care agency investigate and sent a coordinator to our house. I also had calls from the police.
I called the care agency (from the government) to send someone out to my house and called a sibling to be present at the meeting (this sibling has no input, doesn't do any of the caregiving or pay a penny to help and sees mother once a year) but I felt I needed a family witness/backup.
During the meeting mother denied sending it at first and said "that friend shouldn't have publicized what I wrote".
The caregiver reviewed all the files, asked her questions in front of us and took a very good look around, looked at the list of medications and saw that the house was fully modified with shower bars, and all the necessary modifications.
Of course I never got an apology from mother and the sibling just blew everything off and went on his way. I did get a further call from police to ascertain that the coordinator had kept her appointment and did I need any further help?
At the meeting I had a list of all the medications and all the drs. and all the upcoming tests and appointments, also a list of the times and visits and names of all the government care workers.
This all happened because of mother's narcissism, and expecting and wanting her own way all the time, especially with food. She was supposed to be following a strict diet from her dr. but still wanted to gorge on the "forbidden" foods and I was not going to let that happen so she would end up in the hospital yet again! She was also recommended by the dr. to lose weight but didn't want to do that, and was sneaking in food.
So you see what one bad day for a senior can cause!! Just be on your guard, document everything, keep lists and the truth always outs.
I am sure you will be ok but I do sympathize. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to me and now there are police records on this. It just made me dislike her even more that I already did......especially knowing how hard I had worked to keep her in optimum health!!
You are doing your very best -- stand strong and pray. Everything will work out and it should not affect your future. The very best of luck to you!
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Welcome to HELL. Don't try to figure out how all this shit happens. It just does. Is it fair, especially when you and others "bleed" for our parents? Absolutely not! That's why it's hell. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what happened. The best thing you can do is have a drink and watch "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Anything else you attempt will only drive you more insane.
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aps came to our house yesterday to investigate the bed bugs.they were nice enough but if one more female comes into our home spouting halfbaked, poorly researched , conclusion jumping malarky im going to lose my normally cooperative demeanor. i am absolutely not a sexist person. i love and respect females but it seems everywhere i turn theres another female spewing crap they know nothing about and blocking out all reason and evidence. one wanted our bedding burned ( not necessary) another said to vaccum the house then throw the vacc cleaner away( absurd) and all claim that homeowners cannot eliminate the bugs without professional help. according to the cdc, epa, and fda an exterminator does not have to be your first recourse. one lady said she just attended a bed bug seminar. well give that girl a pretty wall certificate. ive personally spent over 100 hours reading on this subject from multiple agencies from multiple western countries. our bugs are gone. the adults died out first and ten days later we saw our last hatchling. they are offering to pay for the house treatment but id like to have traps placed first to verify that there are bugs remaining. aps does not realize that bug sniffing dogs are being crammed into service at such a fast pace right now that many are untrained and amount to a 500.00 farce..
@ babylamb,
i think you should arrange a personal visit with aps. in theory they are supposed to find solutions to your caregiving difficulties as opposed to upsetting / dividing households. they cant override your mothers wishes without first deeming her incompetant and thats not as easy as it sounds. it requires a judge having a face to face talk with your mother and all involved. aps deals in allegations, judges deal in facts..
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As a former CPS (child protective services) case mgr., I recommend you contact the case mgr. who is handling your mom's case. One of the reason's caring for a family member at home is having to explain "accidents". When visiting nurses come, follow with them whenever they are with mom. Also, dementia patients usually never want to take a shower. We did the research here at AZ State Univ. and found it feels like fire when the water hits their skin. Also orange is the best recognizable color for people with dementia. (I have greatly increased my orange apparel). All of the charges for home visits from the visiting nurses should be listed in a brochure. Someone might have made a typo and meant to charge $40 instead of $400. At any rate, call the agency and dispute the charge. You can ALWAYS dispute a charge with a company. If they don't correct errors, then find another company. You don't say at what stage you are in the "nurse" field. If you have not gotten your R.N. license yet, when one applies there will be a background check. If you already have it, the records from adult protective services are public information and the state's licensing board could obtain it. (FYI, if you have not worked as a professional nurse before, might I suggest you improve your spelling/grammar skills). The medical profession is one which, like the legal profession, needs accuracy. Good luck with finding your answers from APS!
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If a report was filed with APS you will be contacted by APS social worker to discuss the issue. They will also interview your parent to hear her side of the story..and you will not be allowed to be present in the room. It's not that you have done anything wrong, its that they are required to investigate any allegations of elder abuse and make sure that nothing wrong is being done. Too many elders are being abused at record numbers today. I have called APS several times myself on family members and don't ever hesitate to call for other elders. I had to place my mother under conservatorship because of family members taking her money, mortgaging her home, verbal abuse, mental abuse. It happens and if you've done nothing wrong you will be cleared. The name of the reporter is kept annonymous to protect the person who called. Another way to protect yourself as a caregiver is to have a security monitoring system installed in your home. I purchased one from Sam's Club and my brother installed it. That way if your loved one falls or there's any report of abuse, you have a recording of that days/nights activities to show exactly what happens. Dementia is a horrible disease and parents sometimes don't know they are making up stories. With regards to the food, if they want something and you refuse to give it to them, legally, you are withholding food from them. Even if its detrimental to their health. Keep those items out of sight, out of the house so she doesn't see, know or ask for it. It's the same with medications. My mother use to refuse to take her meds, the doctor said "you cannot force her to take them, even if its detrimental to her health" seek alternative methods such as hiding the meds in foods to give it to her. Elders have rights and that's what APS is there to protect. If the issue is found to be untrue, ask the APS social worker if it can be removed from your record or stipulate in the record that an investigation proved the issue to be unfounded. They do put comments in the filing.
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I agree with ba8alou. The discharge social worker, patient advocate or ombudsman can help keep you informed. You are entitled to know what the charge is although many states will protect the identity of the person making the complaint. You and your mom are also entitled to insist on a prompt investigation of the charges so the matter can be resolved before your mom is scheduled to leave rehab.
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I was reported because of an accusation (unfounded,) that Dad made against me. The only reason I found out I was being investigated was because his social worker told me. They investigated and found no basis for the accusation. I had no contact with ADPS and wouldn't have known about any of it if the social worker hadn't told me. So, I would say try and get to the bottom of it but don't spend too much energy worrying. Health care professionals are required by law to report anything no matter how unfounded they believe it to be.
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