She lives with my husband & I, it has been a huge strain on our relationship. First my mom was living with my sister and her husband in MN where she broke her femur 2x in less than a yr and then got a staph infection from the surgery (which she will have for the rest of her life) she moved here with us in AZ last August, they now say there is nothing they can do for her leg so they want to amputate, or they can keep her on antibiotics for life until/if infection spreads. She just had surgery a week ago for a prolapsed bowel and bowel resection. She has been home a few days now, and I feel like I am losing it, she got very confused (think she has a UTI) waiting on test results, wanted to go back to Iowa to see my Dad who passed 7 yrs ago, I couldn't stop crying thought she was dying. She has a DNR, so I just kept crying she didn't want to go to hospital, couldn't get her to drink, eat take pills, anything. She is better now, eating drinking, and I have taken over her pills to make sure she takes them and not to many. My husband lost his job of 28 yrs at age 61 6months ago, we have had so many major things happen in our life, I need to work but can't leave my Mom. My sisters and my Mom don't make enough to put her in an Assisted living. I love her very much, I want her to be here, yet there are times I don't and yes I feel so guilty. I also took care of my father who had cancer 24/7 and went through basically all I am going through now. It is so hard watching it all over again, now just with a different parent. Any advice, tips, help would so much be appreciated...I admire what you all do, it isn't easy there needs to be a recognized day a National Day for Caregivers!!!!!
then you see entire populations of city people living on subsidized housing , food , health care , education , transportation , etc and it make you wonder why the government doesnt financially assist family carers . ive written to politicians for all of my adult life on various matters and actually ( eventually ) seen results from my activism . perhaps more carers need to speak to govt officials . with the advent of electronic communications its never before been easier . i consider the va to be a decade ahead of their time in health care matters . they are after all a federal model for medicine , and they are taking a strong look at family caregiver and recipient needs .
Have you spoken to your local area agency on aging? There might be adult day care or other services in your area. Please post back and let us know how this is going.
Are you beating your parents? Of course you're not. Are you doing the best you can? If so, there's no reason to feel guilty.