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She’s been in the home for several years. In the last few weeks both her health and mental capacity have deteriorated rapidly. This week the nursing home called a family meeting to “discuss current interventions”. At this meeting, my sister and I were being pushed, urgently, to get a durable power of attorney. It was a “time is of the essence” message. My question is why does my mom NOW need someone to have a POA? She has no money, has an advanced directive, etc. Due to her diabetes, her heart, kidneys, etc. are failing fast and her legs are oozing constantly. We were told that she would be kept comfortable with pain medications, and so on. We are suspicious that the nursing home wants someone to be responsible to pay for treatments that we might decide to get even if Medicaid doesn’t cover it. But, at this stage, we’ve been told, little or nothing can be done other than palliative care. We’ve been put in touch with a lawyer and are being pressured to get this done ASAP before Mom is no longer able to sign the papers. I’m very skeptical and don’t know what to do. It’s several hundred dollars to get the POA done since the lawyer has to come to the nursing home and personally witness the signatures of everyone involved. I’ll have to travel as I live out of state. I’m perfectly willing to do this and get the POA IF it’s necessary but can’t shake the feeling I’m being scammed. Help. Someone explain WHY I need to do this or why it’s not needed.

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jeannegibbs. Thanks for your answers. My siblings and I are getting a healthcare PoA, meeting with mom and the lawyer on Friday. Needed to be done asap as it's unknown how long before she's totally unable to sign papers.
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This might be helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/things-you-can-and-cant-do-with-poa-152673.htm

It seems to me that what is needed now is a healthcare POA.
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Have you read the directive? If it is just a form where the nursing home checked some boxes for her file, it may not name someone to make decisions. The NH should be able to provide you a copy -- perhaps even email it to you.
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She has some kind of directive that has a DNR if no pulse or breathing, ok to tube feed but no intubation etc. something that has to be renewed annually in November. What happens in November if she's "incompetent " and no PoA?
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In her advance directive, does she name someone who can make health decisions for her if she can't? It seems to be that the healthcare POA is the role that matters now. Someone may have to make hard end-of-life decisions and that will be the person named in the advance directive.

The nursing home has undoubtedly been in situations where family members strongly disagree and no one has the authority to decide. What are they supposed to do then? They want one person who can make the decision. Can you blame them? I seriously doubt you are being scammed.

But if there is already someone named to make the decisions, that should solve that. Show the advance directive and reassure them that the person named will take charge.

My mother did not have a POA nor an advance directive. One of my sisters took care of what little financial transactions came up. There are 7 of us, so there was plenty of opportunity for conflict, but it never occurred. When Mother went on hospice care, the hospice program insisted that there be one contact person who could make decisions. I signed for that. They did not ask to see POA.

The nursing home also wanted one person to contact. We gave them a list of the four girls and said call down the list until you get a hold of one of us.

I'm not saying that I'm glad Mother didn't have those documents. But I don't see the point of getting a POA at this point. Update her advance directive if necessary.
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http://statelaws.findlaw.com/indiana-law/indiana-durable-power-of-attorney-laws.html

http://poaform.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/indiana-durable-power-of-attorney-form.pdf

So you can make decisions that affect her end of life choices.
Does she have a living will?
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