Mother 85 with dementia. Want placement in nursing home. She refuses. Unable to care for self but refuses to leave home. Fractured pelvis & continues to fall frequently. Keep finding her on floor & soiled. Can't get her up alone. Had blood work & doctor called saying she was in renal failure (GFR-14) to get her to ER. She refused. When I call 911, they won't take her to the hospital because she can always tell them her birthdate, the year, etc.
In other words you face two huge hurdles- getting your mother to agree to give you POA, then finding an attorney who would draw up the POA in spite of your mothers cognitive decline.
Your best bet would be to seek legal guardianship. The guardianship process can be lengthy - especially if the principal or anyone else objects. It is also a bit expensive- however, if you are awarded guardianship the cost of doing so can be reimbursed to you from your mothers funds. In dire circumstances an emergency guardianship can be granted in a matter of days.
Find yourself an attorney who specializes in elder care and they can asses your situation and advise you on the best course of action.
Do you think the EMTs will leave her there, soiled and in renal failure alone? I doubt it. I believe they would be forced to take her to the hospital.
Do not meet her at the hospital. Let the medical professionals deal with her.
I know this sounds cruel and cold. But you cannot reason with dementia.
Agree wth the above- call 911 and have them take her to the emergency room, that's probably the only way she will be treated.
Her GFR is very low. Starting to think about Dialysis occurs when the GFR is less than 15%.
She could be dehydrated too.
Talk to her PCP and discuss her condition with them as well. They may have input from a prior experience.
Definitely have 911 take her to the ER as that should get the NH process started.
Good luck to you as I know this is very heartbreaking and hard to go through.
Involve APS and tell them you have no power. That means u have to step away and be willing to let them handle. Possibly do a emergency custody order to get her placed.
2nd. You file for guardianship and consevatorship over mom. Expensive and time consuming I'm told.
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know you love your mom and want her to get the proper care. Its so tough. Maybe consider talking to her doctor? Or a social worker? Or can another family member or friend help you take her to the hospital against her will? I feel like the ambulance has to take her because she is in renal failure.
Thinking of you.