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My 93-year-old, basically healthy mom (survived heart failure 8 years ago) went into a rapid decline over the past 5 weeks after developing a nasty cough; losing her appetite and became bedridden. She complained of feeling extremely weak and without energy; her body became cool and she had an intermittent fever. Her skin was pale and she mostly slept but had rapid breathing. She has, for the past 3 weeks, not eaten any solids. Liquids only, including soup. Last week we expected her to actualy pass away due to her physical and mental state; 4 days ago she suddenly improved (though still bedridden and on liquids only) and said she feels much better. The family is actually amazed. Is this possible for a person that age to regain strength and get better? We went through a tough time expecting her death. Not quite sure what to make of this although we are grateful.

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Our family went through several of these cycles with my dad. He had congestive heart failure for many years with its slow progression. He also had extreme weakness in his legs that no amount of physical therapy seemed to help. He had times we believed he was very close to death, only to make a comeback. Those comebacks became less over time, with him a bit weaker all along. I know it’s hard to watch and wish you peace
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Having the same exact experience right now as Daughterof1930. Father in law was very close to death 3 times in the last 6 months, in yet another rally this week .
It’s a roller coaster ride for sure.
I’m actually journaling about it right now if you care to read about this experience . If you go under the discussions section below questions section . It’s titled ‘FIL is back . What does that mean ?’

My father also had one rally period that lasted a couple of months before his death from cancer .
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My mom went through something similar at about that age, to make a long story short - she did improve and lived to be 99.
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I have to ask was she taken to the doctor or hospital to diagnose the cause of the rapid decline, cough, loss of appetite, fever?
If this was/is an infection, virus of some sort and her body fought it off then yes it is possible that she can regain strength. And if it was/is an infection or virus of some sort medication may have helped her fight it off faster.
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Way2tired Jul 2023
Good question ! I assumed she had been seen by a doctor, since the profile says she lives in a nursing home .
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My mother did, due to a small stroke, she convinced herself that it was the big one, she went to a deep short depression, then all of a sudden se perked right up, she was 94, she is now 98.
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Yes, it's possible for a person your mom's age to regain strength and get better.

Why it woudn't it be? No one is God so we don't get to decide how long a life will be.

Your 93 year old mom suddenly improves and says she feels a lot better. Why don't we call that what is it? A miracle.
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What does your mother's physician/s say? Or is mother now on hospice and no longer going for diagnosis and treatment. Without medical testing anything we can guess at (pneumonitis, covid) would be a guess.

If she has a medical team, discuss with them. If she has a hospice team ask them. As an old retired RN I can tell you that yes, you cannot predict death. People do indeed get better and worse unpredictably.
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Grandma1954 Jul 2023
Even on Hospice they can diagnose and treat infections and other illness that are not related to the Hospice diagnosis. And in some cases where it is necessary Hospice will hospitalize a patient.
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Yes, it is possible. My dad recovered well from abdominal surgery at age 92 but unfortunately died of cancer months later. He had dementia. But his surgery recovery was amazing. Another relative had a heart condition that almost killed her at age 95 but recovered, which surprised her doctors because they thought she couldn't. She then had cancer, which was treated and is in remission. She is 100. My friend's mom with dementia and hip replacement at age 97 went home to live until age 101. She could walk, but barely, and it was painful.

All of these people recovered but their lives were diminished because they were limited by other diseases. The question is, would you want to "recover" at that age, because something else will soon take you out anyway.

In retrospect, I wish my dad had died during surgery. It would have spared his dying of cancer and would have been a better way to go. So be careful what you wish for!
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ElizabethAR37 Jul 2023
I totally agree! Provided that I have the ability to speak for myself, I probably would reject major surgery except if needed for short term comfort. (This is also clearly stated in my healthcare directive.) I have "0" interest in maintaining a "greatly diminished"/dependent existence while depleting all our assets and eventually being forced on Medicaid. A hip replacement in my 90s? That would almost certainly be a firm no for me if I'm still around and competent.
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Whats her physician have to say? How's her labwork & x-rays (if any)? I pray your mom will continue to improve and best of luck
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Yes she can get better. My aunt is 97 and a few years ago was put on hospice. Then she recovered and is back at achieving her goal of 100.
Next time your mom is failing get a hospice evaluation.
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Yes, someone can improve. My mother has been on hospice 3 times, each time improved and hospice care was stopped. She never fully regained her strength and there was an impact on her cognitive function.

I will admit it has been extremely difficult to emotionally prepare for her passing, only to improve, again and again. Especially as she never fully recovered, is now bed bound with dementia. She just continues to survive but gets weaker, mentally and physically. I hope your mother makes a better recovery than mine. Watching someone waste away over years and years is heartbreaking.
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Going through the same thing with 96 y.o. mother. Three weeks ago it was day to day, couldn't chew and swallow, stopped talking. Now she is sitting up eating popcorn while watching TV, sings with us, is her normal affectionate self and even shows a sense of humor. That said, she is still declining medically even though she feels good. This may be a nice respite of love and comfort and she may still be near the end; or she may have a few more good months/years. Ask her doctor. They usually have more knowledge of underlying medical issues and likelihood of recovery.
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My MIL was considered to have only 3 weeks to live---6 months ago.

All the grands came to town to see her 'one last time'.

Hospice was set up.

Her 'kids' began a rotating schedule of 24/7 care.

She basically stopped eating--only about 300-400 calories a day.

Stopped taking her BP and cholesterol meds.

And..
she got better. Still in Hospice care, b/c she's very weak and frail, but they no longer consider her to be 'imminently dying'.

The kids are still performing 24/7 care. They will do so until she passes, which looks like will be months, if not years away.
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Fawnby Jul 2023
Yikes. Years.
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Yes, but sometimes the rally happens right before they die so you just don’t know.
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My mom did rehab in her 90’s. She improved in rehab and with home health. It all depends on the individual.
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Yes.
Almost anything is possible in recovery.
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There are “unbelievable” stories all the time.
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Sounds like something specific hit her and she’s been fighting it off and is winning that battle! The human body is an amazing miraculous thing.
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As many pointed out anything is possible. However as much as we want we do not live in fantasyland. We all die and as a scientist statistically she is on the other side of the curve. Meaning every day she lives she is more likely to die. So enjoy life one day at a time.
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Yes people recover
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Yes. My 96 yo mother has gone from death's doorstep back to her baseline several times in the past 4 years.

Looking back over the past 17 years, it's amazing what she has survived. Covid - I was told she would be dead within 48 hours; Upper respiratory infection; C-Diff; Broken hip; Fecal blockage; Compression fractures of her spine from osteo; Burst appendix with terrible abdominal infection plus more.

Currently she is stable after her last bout with an upper respiratory infection requiring oxygen that got her under hospice care. She has rallied and no longer needs the oxygen. She is eating and drinking. Her vitals are good and yet her mobility suffers from general muscle wasting.

Sounds like your mom had some type of respiratory infection that she has been fighting.
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Yes, it can be a real " rollercoaster" experience....and, although as you say, you are thankful, it nevertheless takes a toll emotionally, spiritually and physically on everyone. Some do rebound and have varied recovery.

Take it one day at a time. Remember to practice good " self care" as the primary caregiver(s) for the long haul .

Note: 1. Prayers are powerful.
2. Even patients on hospice care are known to rally and, even often just prior to death to present with what is called a " surge" , where they appear to be ' getting better'.
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She can make some recovery but it very likely won't be back to her pre-illness level.

Others who say it might be a final rally could also be correct. Just don't have any expectations... take it one day at a time.
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I know of a case like this. A very old man who no longer could recognize his wife and needed daily help. His wife sold the house and moved to be near her grown children. One day the man "recovered" and wanted to go home. Doctors had never seen anything like it but it was real. They tracked down his wife and someone took him to be with her.
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Even the doctors can't answer that question. Everyone is different. Did she consult with a doctor while she was so sick? She may have had one of those respiratory diseases that are going around. It might have been possible to treat her at an earlier stage. It may not be too late to give her a boost getting over this disease. Consult with her doctor.
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Well, you just MENTIONED that your mom got better, so youo have PROOF that a 93 year old - can get better just as well as anybody else at any age. Unfortunately, the dumb and ignorant general public does not EXPECT it.
So be less negative and cheer her on, she is on the right track !!

Being inacive decreases the need for the same amount of calories she used to consume when she was more active, so encourage more activity - get her up and look at the flowers in nature, more than likely will increase her appetite also.
Be OPTIMISTIC , positive and cheerful, you're not at her funeral
Yout attitude makes a difference.
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Rafelemo: Yes, it is possible for your 93 year old mother to rally. However, you could obtain a better answer from her physician.
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Has the OP been back? Not sure what direction the journey has travelled from the original post..

Warm thoughts to you Rafelemo.
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yes it is possible.I am an RN geriatric care manager. Did you take your mother to the doctors doing that because it sounds like she had a virus of some kind going on that knocked her down for quite a while. Whenever you see that type of thing she needs to be evaluated by a doctor and desist I’d have a girl valuated give them that history and then just see what’s the next step to keep her that way. PT to regain strength etc. but yes it’s very possible.
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Oh yes…My mom, 89 has survived 3 near death illnesses in 5 years and it took a few months to fully recover. I now expect her to recover. Roller coaster ride. She has a real desire to live even with Lewy Body.
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