I have a dilemma that I am not sure how to handle. I live in Washington State and my parents live in Illinois. They are both 90 years and live alone. They have done everything for us kids (5 of us) as we have grown up and have always been there for us through mostly financial troubles, and always been able to take care of their aging parents. They were there for them every weekend as they were needing extra care and even had them move in with them when they couldn't live alone anymore.
Now my parents are in need of the care that they gave their parents and my brothers and sisters that live within 20 minutes of my parents and they don't have the time to care for my parents. My older brother calls them daily and does help them out when he can, but he doesn't get any backup and can't do the help mom needs with the cooking and cleaning that she needs every day.
I need some help getting some help for my parents. Mom in so much pain from her back that she can't get around good, but is too proud to accept too much help, but she will. Dads is an old Farmer. He farmed for 30 years and loves to be outside, but his legs are so bad that he can't be on them for very long.
I will be coming out to Illinois this Summer for a stay, but not sure how long and would like to get them a helper before I get there....the sooner the better. They need some stimulation in their life. All they do every day is sit and watch the depressing news and put a puzzle together. Someone needs to look at their insurance and various other bills to see that they are not paying too much or have too little coverage. My family is not doing anything to care for them or watch over them and it just makes me furious. I am disabled and live with my husband in Washington State. I have multiple specialists that I see and it isn't possible for me to just take off and go to Illinois to handle this. Can you please help me by giving me some organizations that will gently help my parents? I mean gently by not go in and say "You NEED to do this and this and this." But just guide them and make it seem like they are in control. They are proud Germans/Swedish people and very much aware of what they want even though they are 90. They are not wanting to give up anything to anyone.
Waiting until summer is a long time. I would certainly try to arrange a visit before then if for nothing else to find a geriatric care manager to get them started.
I guess they are now called Aging Life Care Professionals.
Although a caregiver will not assess their insurance etc. maybe brother can do it, if you’re worried about that aspect? What does brother think about their finances, have you voiced your concern to him? Maybe he could bring them to an accountant/lawyer/financial advisor who could help?
Summer seems a long time to wait to assess 90 year olds, if you know what I mean...