Hi!
I need to get my 93 year old grandmother into a nursing home and do not know where to start. She has refused for years to make anyone POA for her, so we have no legal standing to admit her. Four months ago, she moved in with my mother and myself as she was unable to care for herself, even with frequent visits from us, we found her twice on the floor from falling and unable to get back up herself. Since then, her memory has been getting progressively worse, even to some days she does not know who we are, as well as becoming increasingly agitated. She has refused to go to the doctors even for regular checkups for years and so how do we get a doctor to declare her incompetent if we can't get her there?
Also, she doesn't have any assets and receives only about $1000 a month from retirement and social security, how do I find a nursing home without funds?
Your other option would be to contact a lawyer well versed in Elder Law. You would or your Mom would have to get Guardianship. Once you have Guardianship you can make decisions for her for health and finances. This is not an easy job and there will be costs. The costs will come from Grandma not you or your mom.
The other thing that you should look into would be the possibility of application for Medicaid if her assets will not cover Assisted Living or Memory Care. (and to that if she is diagnosed with any form of dementia the move to memory care should be done rather than moving her again as she declines further.)
Look for a facility that will accept Medicaid so that she will not have to be moved as her assets dwindle.
If your grandmother's agitation is marked, seize the moment and call an ambulance. Once you're at the hospital, you should be able to take it from there - ask for help and information.
Meanwhile, have a browse around this site: https://www.aging.pa.gov/aging-services/caregiver-support/Pages/default.aspx
Maybe call some local nursing homes and ask them for help in getting themselves a new patient?
Maybe they can help you get her on medicaid? I'm sure the paperwork is challenging and they must have experience dealing with those kind of difficulties.
Good luck!
Once you know the basics of how to 'get started' it makes it a little less daunting. Thankfully in the case of my MIL, we didn't need a NH, but I learned a lot.