I don't want her knowing I'm speaking to him about this and don't know how to approach him while we are all there. She denies she's having any kind of memory problems. She has good memory in some areas, but she'll deny remembering certain details or conversations. Basically, I just want him to be aware and possibly offer some resources that we can avail her of. Her social worker who visited her once a week when she lived in Florida said she could probably have the same services here as she had there.
What sort of details is your aunt forgetting? What makes you concerned about anxiety and depression?
The thing is. I can certainly understand that you don't want to stir up trouble in your relationship with your aunt. But if you have substantial reasons for believing that there is a problem, then I think it's a mistake to go behind her back and risk adding the complications that arise from covert communications. It is much better to be open and straightforward, and specific about your concerns, while emphasising that you are on her side. If she'd broken a leg she wouldn't pretend there's nothing wrong, and you wouldn't be pussyfooting around being polite about it, and it's a pity to treat this any differently. Of course we are all aware that there is stigma and there is fear around mental ill health, but the stigma and the fear just make it all worse and harder to cope with.
Past behavior dictates we do things with a "less is more" approach if that makes any sense? I have tried being nothing but transparent and straightforward with her and to no avail - she becomes emotionally reactive, angry and resistant to both big and small changes - and as would have it, no changes at all. Depression and anxiety is the result of aging, loss, and mental illness. These things combined, makes everything having to do with her care, tricky to do. The doctor's appointment went better than I had imagined it would today and am pleased that he recognized the need for additional help. Now, he said maybe he would be able to make the referral to Medicare for in home visits (1 X weekly) like she had with a social worker/therapist while she lived in Florida. He says that they don't always allow this....so we will see. I, myself am trying to figure how Medicare works, what it does and what it doesn't. This is my first go round.
To receive any Medicare services you need a doctors order. U need a service that can bill Medicare too. If services in Fla were Medicare based u should have no problem. If they were Medicaid based, that will make a difference. Medicaid is a state thing and she will need to reapply.
If you have her information you could set that up if she has not done so (I am guessing she would not have)
The other option would be to write a note and give it to the nurse and those notes would be entered for the doctor to review.
I would sent the note before the appointment so they have a chance to review it prior to the visit.
I watch a movie and the next day i could not tell you what it was.
i have been fixing my grandmothers jewelry to hand down and i was talking to my cousin and I could not remember the word pendant. Its awful and scary, is it going to get so bad i cant remember where the bathroom is? Then its time for a home why on earth would we say our memory is going?
Sorry I thought you should hear it from the other side, it might help
The POA and AD are in place. So it's not a matter of not being able to speak with him. It was being able to talk with him in private. As it turned out, I had sent him a message prior to the appt.. and I was able to relay to him the problems. He handled it by asking her to sit quietly alone so he could come back and do another BP -- as her high BP has been an issue and is being treated. We stepped out of the room and into his office. He has now added a low dose anti depressant to help replace the Trazadone she was taking and we'll see if that helps somewhat.
These drs didn't just fall off the turnip wagon yesterday so many [but not all] are aware of these issues - even if you say that nothing will be done for some time as you don't want to upset the apple cart at this time but rather you feel that he/she should aware of some concerns .... if you can get more than 1 source to show then that can be important
I contacted doctors office and spoke with his nurse who made appointment for me to visit doctor with my mother. The nurse made arrangements for me to speak with doctor prior to doctor seeing my mom.
Once I explained to doctor my concerns he was surprised he had not picked up any signs during their visits. During exam he started asking questions where he was able to see my concerns. He ordered tests and made referral to geriatric doctor where mom was diagnosed with Dementia. Moms primary care doctor was so thankful that we stepped in to make him aware of what we had been noticing with mom.
Even that doctor, despite initially thinking she was the right one (I had switched to her when I had moved) was clueless in many respects - I changed over to another just in time as she decided to retire! I just had my first physical with this new doctor and guess what? They gave ME the mini-test!!! Thankfully I passed. If I didn't, we would both be in trouble. I have two brothers, but I manage everything for mom, me and payments on my cards for my daughter's debts that she pays for (long story) - I cannot afford to start down that nasty path! I don't think either brother would be able to manage what I take care of (one is not listed as POA for anything and cannot be now, plus he isn't local. The other seems to live in another world!)
So, be sure you have a doctor who is on board and has a clue AND will work with you! As everyone has noted, it never hurts to contact the doctor office and see what will work - portals are good, but personal contact first might be best.