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When I was visiting my mom the other day for lunch at the memory care facility, one of the residents told the activities person that she needed to use the bathroom. The activities person told her she can’t go to the bathroom now, she hast to wait until after lunch. There is no one here to help her, everyone is busy because we are in the middle of lunch.
Would this be considered neglect?
This place is short staffed, and I have been told by the executive director they are not. But when you tell residents they can’t go to the bathroom because they are too busy, to me, means they are short staffed.

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That's to me is impossible to judge, because you are just seeing that one thing.

We don't know if she does this all the time, if they asked her if she wanted to go before. We really have no clue the whole story.

If it was a sweet lady that never does that then that's just mean, abuse, probably not,

That my feeling, other may say different
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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MargaretMcKen Aug 20, 2024
Absolutely! We have many posters whose parent would ask at the wrong time, just to be a PIA. And you could be a PIA yourself, if you chip in to critisise the staff and the facility whenever things aren't just the way you think they should be.
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If you look hard enough for problems, you'll find them....even if you have to make them up.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You’re seeing a snapshot in time and lack the whole picture. There are endless possibilities as to what might be going on, including neglect. Perhaps the staff well knows this resident and her constant, unneeded bathroom requests. She may be fixated on the subject. That’s one of many things that could be the issue. Not having the whole picture is an issue here
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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A few of the residents didn't ask (not necessarily in activities), if they had to go, they went and let the staff deal with it.

One story involved a really nice lady, who after going back to her room (at the time) after having her shower, pooped on the floor.

The aid just said something along the lines of "Be careful, Sue pooped and it's on the floor"

As far as activities went, the biggest issue was one male resident being "kicked out" because he would get into arguments or want to fight.

Good times!!
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Reply to cover9339
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I could not get my mother to try to “ work with the staff “ instead of against them .

The staff routinely offered toileting before meals , for the very reason that it takes time to toilet someone . And yes if everyone asked to go to the bathroom during a meal , people would be waiting and getting cold meals , and some have to be hand fed .

My mother would routinely use her call bell during a meal to go to the bathroom and then complain they took forever to come . The fact is had she gone 1/2 hour earlier when they offered there would be no problem. . This was a woman who I knew could always pee on demand . She admitted she “ wasn’t going to follow their routine “.

The fact of the matter is they don’t have a 1:1 private duty aide in SNF . It’s not perfect , but it is what it is .

You don’t know this woman’s story , maybe she was like my mother , uncooperative , controlling and manipulative , liked to come up with a reason to complain . Or maybe this woman asks to go to the bathroom every twenty minutes .
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Reply to waytomisery
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waytomisery Aug 20, 2024
Also , Sometimes incontinent residents ask to go to the bathroom after they have already gone in their adult diapers .

Incontinent residents are changed on schedule before meals .
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I think this show My Mom ended up incontinent and in diapers because no one would help her to the bathroom at rehab and she went down hill . Yes it is Neglect and abuse in my Opinion .
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Reply to KNance72
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MargaretMcKen Aug 20, 2024
Perhaps in diapers, but surely this is not a cause for incontinence?
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