New at caring for elderly mother in law. How do I help make her last years better?
Three months ago, my husband and I brought his mother a thousand miles from her home to live with us. She is 87, walks with a walker, and has Alzheimer's. So far we are doing ok with her care. We've had her to dr. For check ups and physically she is good for her age. In the last couple of years, she's had some falls resulting in broken hip, broken arm, broken shoulder which was what led us to moving her in with us, to take care of her and try to keep her from breaking anything else. There is just one thing that I don't understand. She gets up in up in the morning and comes in the living room and sits in her recliner, and never says a word. If you ask her something, she will reply with one or two words. Ask her if she's hungry and she will say yes or no. Ask her what she would like to eat she says she doesn't know. I have tried to have conversations with her, asking her things, trying to draw her out, but nothing seems to work. She will sit here for hours with her permanent frown and not say a word. She never asks about her neighbors and friends she had where she lived. Never asks about her grandchildren. Never asks about anything. I find it very depressing, she hasn't said it to me, but she's told my husband that she just wants to die. I would love to help her and make her last few years better, but I am totally at a loss.
I think I am going to make a picture book of family photos for my MIL and it will give her something to talk about when her caretaker comes or she has visitors. Maybe your MIL would like that and tell you about the photos.
Stop asking her open ended questions. ALZ sufferers can't handle them. Instead, 'Mom, how does cereal and fruit sound for breakfast? Think of her old life (and I mean many years ago). What were her interests. Can you get something going with that?