New Orleans Band - any suggestions for an authentic New Orleans funeral?

GREAT answers, and thanks so much for the suggestions! I've read your answers 3 times, and spent this morning thinking through all the options I hadn't thought of before. Each of you has in some way opened my eyes to raising the level of celebration to honoring, and doing so now while Dad is still alive to benefit from the support I intend to generate.

I'm going to flesh out the options you suggest later today but just wanted to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to respond, as well as to offer kind thoughts on my father's situation, which has changed drastically. So, just a quick comment on that.

On Monday the DON and I both thought he was in the final stages of life. I thought maybe a few days; we discussed morphine to ease the very physical and mental challenges he was facing. I honestly didn't think he'd still be alive by today.

The facility in-house doctor thoroughly examined him late Monday evening and doesn't feelDad's that close to end of life or that morphine is appropriate now. AND, and a big AND, the following day brought a drastic change, thanks to some very special MOW volunteers who have been extraordinarily supportive through this last journey.

Yesterday he ate more than he's eaten in a few weeks. He was even able to hold a spoon long enough to take a spoonful of food by himself. He choked and coughed less. I was amazed, and on reflection,I'm sure it was the human interaction. This morning I mulled over your suggestions and decided on a somewhat different approach, integrating the here and now and what's to come.

And, of course, this is long, so I apologize in advance, but I wanted to let each of you know how helpful you've been.


To initially address your suggestions:

1. GeeWhiz, I never thought of marching bands, and there are plenty in this area. There's also a Community Band which offers free concerts. I'm going to start contacting them.

GigSalad is amazing! I'll definitely have to spend some time there and reaching out to their resources.

I also remember that I was briefly in a marching band in high school, as was one of my relatives. That's another source.

2. Iggy, I like the military metaphor! I'm now planning to enlarge one of the B-29 photos with Dad and his fellow crew members for the Military aspect of display - I plan to have memory boards for each aspect of his life (childhood, adulthood/exploration of life/CCC/National Guard), military service, marriage, family and of course his woodworking accomplishments.

I imagine the funeral home will make a video as well, but a big photo of the Super Fortress will be SO impressive! I LOVE those fortresses anyway!

That also brought to mind those fantastic marching bands. I watched a military tattoo a few weeks ago and was literally so high I was soaring - I think I'll contact the local base to see if any of the services stationed there have a band.

The idea of contacting African American resources is a great one. In fact, there were some AA bands that played on the 4th of July parade in my city. I'll contact the city offices to get more information. And my AA quilting friends might have some good suggestions; both are former nurses and are very resourceful.

You are soooo kind to offer to send me the CD, and that's given me another idea, coupled with some of the plans for the funeral. So far there will be family coming from the West, SE and Midwest states. No embalming means a fairly quick funeral. But the rush is off a bit now, as noted above, as the physician doesn't think the end is that close.

I'll PM you - if I can get the details on the CD, I might be able to find it locally, or have Barnes and Noble order it. Otherwise, if you send it, I'll dupe it and return it. I'll start calling locally to see if it's available and let you know as soon as I find out.

And thanks for that wonderful offer!

4. MsMadge, also very helpful suggestions. I'm even wondering if I could find a recording online; some of the music sites have samples for downloading.

I don't even remember if Dad's church plays departure music as people are leaving the church, but that's a really good suggestion for a tune that signals a change from the discussion and honor of the person, to the next step, finalized by a joyous celebration in music of my father's life.

More research, but I enjoy planning and appreciate that suggestion of seguing from one state to another.

I'm adding your suggestions to my Internet search list.

4. Send, I had wanted a celebration rather than a dying focus, but hadn't even thought of some of the suggestions I found on the website you cited. I was also considering something to do now, perhaps a stage one celebration capped by the final plans.

Your suggestion complimented what I saw yesterday when he rallied - the power of presence of supporters, family and friends. We've had outstanding support at the SNF where he's now getting palliative care, so now I'm seguing into a small celebration there, with a different level at the funeral.

There are a lot of possibilities for this; this is another issue to explore while I'm at the SNF this morning.

In fact, my mind is actually begun accelerating into thoughts so quickly forming that I'm having trouble writing things down as I also type this response.

I'm now thinking of perhaps a small daily celebration, with friends or visitors, as a support and inspirational mechanism, not just visiting, but actually focusing on some aspect of their interaction with Dad.

Maybe the daily celebrations can help him through these rough times, knowing that he can share his life accomplishments now rather than when he's gone.


I am actually getting emotional thinking of all the thoughtful and helpful suggestions you've offered. Although the sadness is still lurking, I'm excited to think of implementing something now to not only help him through the day but also to bring together people who've been a part of his life, but of prime importance is to help Dad and I dispel our melancholy and focus more on celebration.

Now, anyone near me willing to help me get together all the photos from his life. I'll promise donuts, bagels...as a treat Just kidding - this will be a big task! !


Thanks so very much for helping me view the entire issue of the potential loss of my father in a way that allows me to celebrate him more while he's here. (I'm actually getting emotional and can't type any more because of the tears in my eyes.)

More later as I begin to implement The Celebration Now and flesh out plans for The Final Celebration.

GardenArtist,
Googling "Celebration of Life" there appears to be special invitations, some are free, some can be downloaded.

Saying goodbye to such a fine man, very soon.....our thoughts are with you and your Dad.

A school marching band should be familiar with the music. Can the band director of local schools be contacted for ideas? Ditto on community bands.   Also try gigsalad or gigmasters  dot com
GardenArtist, sorry to hear about Dad's decline. --- thinking of you.

Garden - think of it as he’s gearing up for his last bombing run!
It would be a New Orleans style “brass band” that does the second lines.

If I had to hire one in another area, I’d contact either:
- the band director of any predominantly African American high school as they will either have a group out of the school or know of one. Plus they have uniforms, school T shirts so that’s a terrific visual
- ditto for African American clientele funeral homes

You want me to priority mail you the “Our NOLA” CD? All the classics are on it. Has Eddie Bo’s “Saints”, Davell Crawford’s “Gather By The River” a great funeral dirge, Dirty Dozen Brass Bands “Feet” which is what usually follows “Saints” and it’s a real get down strut & stomp of a song.
Also have Louis Prima classics 1935-1935 great tunes. It’s preKeely
PM me if you want me to ship up, iggie

Iggy, Barnes and Noble has 2 Preservation Hall CDs, one of which is Marching Down Bourbon Street and has the Saints. Wow - am I lucky today! It's on sale for $5.00; I'll pick it up tomorrow, along with another PH CD which I'll buy just for me. Only about a 15 minute drive and it'll be all mine!

HI Garden,
Sorry you are dealing with dad's decline

My family loves Dixieland and I was able to find a few bands online by doing an Internet search so I'm hoping you can find some in your area

Traditional songs might include
A closer walk with thee played when leaving the church
With when the saints played after the graveside prayers

Let us know how things go

GA, be well and take care of yourself in the midst of caring for your dear dad.

GA, my thoughts are with you as walk this road with your dad. He’s blessed to have you. NO style musicians are very common here, but I’m in the south. I hope you’re able to find some soon

Iggy, checking right now; will update you in a few.

Barb, Daughter, Sue, and Windy, thanks so much for your concern and support. It really means a lot to me to know that I'm not on this path alone.

Sue, your post reminded me of when my sister lived in NO, I visited, and we went to the Preservation Hall, sat on the floor and fell in love with the music. What an experience! I had completely forgotten about the Hall.

I've just called Preservation Hall and am e-mailing one of the coordinators, although I doubt that their schedule would allow for a one time stop in Michigan. But....guess what? They have samples of their music on their website and one is of the Saints! Now, if only I can figure out what I did with the speakers for the computer.....

Back in a little bit, and thanks so much to everyone!

Update: got my Preservation Hall "Marching Down Bourbon Street"CD yesterday and am listening to it now. WOW!

MsMadge, the first song on the CD is A Closer Walk with Thee - your suggestion was soooo perfect. It has the right blend of upbeat, beautifully played music, and a religious theme but not maudlin like some of the organ music that's so depressing.

That was a great suggestion!

Send, I appreciate your suggestions; I'll comment on them later as I'm in a hurry to go to the SNF right now.

I had forgotten how sweet Jazz played well can be. I'm beginning to think about a trip to NOLA, to sit on the floor at the Preservation Hall and just mellow out to the music.

Iggy, is Maison Blanche still a fixture - they had the best mints I've ever had. Keep your schedule open; I might be visiting you!

Thanks again to all.

GA