Follow
Share

Quick Recap: Last year I became "in charge" of my Mom when my step-dad passed away. She has moderate dementia and can't be left alone. About a year ago, I moved her successfully into a Memory Care Home, about 5 minutes up the road. She settled in, and had a good three to four month run from mid-January to just recently.


Two weeks ago, her brother, whom she hadn't seen in 12 years, was brought to town by my cousin for a visit. He has Alzheimer's, but it was still a sweet reunion. Totally NOT in Mom's normal routine or schedule. Then the following week her personal trainer was out of town, so two BIG changes and coincidentally (or not) she has claimed bowel issues since then.


She thinks she's constipated all the time, and is convinced drinking diet coke keeps her regular. So the diet coke gives her gas, possibly contributes to her diarrhea (which is what she really has), and it's a viscous cycle.


Additionally, her paranoia has increased. She thinks people are stealing her Diet Coke's because she's drinking them so fast because she thinks she's constipated. So she hides her Diet Coke, then can't find it, then gets mad. She's mad. She's mad when she can't find the Diet Coke, she's mad because she's "constipated" she's mad that nobody is fixing the constipation etc.


The nurse decided to increase her depacote to hopefully address the anger/agitation, but so far I haven't seen any changes other than more obsession, more paranoia.


This evening, the nurse called me to ask how we decrease or eliminate the diet coke. ARGH....I warned her that Mom would be angry at everyone, but that I was willing to let her run out and not bring a new supply.


The nurse pointed out that she's already unhappy, so it's not like we would be taking a happy person and depriving them of their only treat.


Thanks for listening to me vent....I hate that I can't fix this, or reason with Mom. She's always been stubborn and once she gets something in her head, dementia or not, she is hard to budge.


Anyone experience something similar or have words of advice or encouragement?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
As someone that was addicted to Diet Coke for years i know how difficult it is to stop. It contains a boatload of caffeine which definitely could be causing issues from irritability to nervousness. Not only has aspartene been link to dementia but also mdd ( major depression disorder). Thank God I finally got off this stuff. I suggest weaning
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

FF has a good idea here. My uncle was a diabetic and addicted to diet soda. The nursing home would let him have it, but they only provided those little tiny cans that are about 4 oz. total. He was allowed 1-2 of those per day. If you can lower the amount she's drinking slowly, week by week, it will be far better for her.

Some would be of the mindset that your mom is already in a nursing home, so apparently in bad health - so why not give her the one thing that makes her happy? I think that might be appropriate for someone who is in the last stages of life and perhaps struggling with appetite issues - my dad's NH staff told us to bring him whatever we wanted in order to try and get some calories into his body, because he was so sick from infections that he wasn't eating and was wasting away. So we brought milkshakes, Coke, burgers - all things to tempt him to eat. But that's far different than your mom with her Diet Coke addiction, which is obviously an obsession.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Oh, one way to get your Mom off of the diet coke is to have someone handle the coke, not your Mom. Bring the diet coke in a glass to her. Do that for a week. Then the following week, use 1/4 regular coke and 3/4 diet coke and see if Mom notices the difference. Then the week after that, 1/2 regular coke and 1/2 diet coke... you see where I am going with this.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Sulynn, it's always so fascinating the things that they do remember, vs. all the other gazillion things they forget.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Keep us informed on how this goes, will you JJ? We learn from each other, and dealing with obsessions is a pretty common theme here!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Your thread is just the thing I needed to read right now. I just got into bed from visiting my Mom all day. She is 93 & bedridden. She is obsessed with her bowels & now is refusing to wear the diaper because " It causes pressure on my butt, so I can't fart"🤔. Also, she lost her 1 good $1000.00 hearing aid. The caregiver & I went threw every inch on the bed, floor, bedding, trash, my Mom! Couldn't find it. Mom INSISTED it's stuck on her back! Checked her body again. Nope. Can't convince her🙄
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Update: Mom is almost like her old self....you know, from about a month ago.
She hasn't called and left any awful voice mail messages!
Took her to the 4th of July parade yesterday and we all had a good time.
The Diet Coke obsession is still there, but diminished, not any rage anymore.
Maybe it's a phase that's going to come and go.
The appointment with the neurologist who specializes in Dementia is set up for a couple of weeks from now...

For the moment, life is good.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

AmyGrace, I suspect Mom had an accident or two recently and was horrified by the lack of control, and she's now angry and obsessing in an attempt to regain some control. She even said to me once, "I used to be able to control my bowel movements." which I found to be a really odd way to put it, but the more I think about it, I believe this is all about control and her anger at not being in control.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

thanks Jeanne, I'll keep you posted. It's amazing the amount of support here and how it has really helped me through all of this past year.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

AmyGrace, my Mom seems to be struggling to be content as well, in fact, it almost seems like she wants to be angry. Wonder if there is some comfort in the anger? Makes no sense, but it's as if she's caught in a stage of grief--the anger stage.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter