My mother has always been a miserable women. Since my father passed away 17 years ago she has house surfed everyone she knows and has burnt all bridges no one wants anything to do with her. Imposing in my life and home every time she ran out of money or was asked to leave I'd say a total of 14 out of the last 17 years.She now has dementia and her meaness has gotten worse and has made life miserable for me and my 17 yr old daughter to the point we dont want to live in our own house. I have reached out to the local services here in Syracuse NY for help and resources but since she is independent as far as dressing and feeding herself I was told she is not a candidate for a NH. However, she scored to low cognetively for a medicaid assistant living facility. She has no money other than 667.00/ month SS. So I feel I am traped. This is my home and I hate being here. Why is it that no one will help me get my life back. Am I obligated to keep her here and live like this for ever at this rate she might out live me.
I'm so sorry you are trapped in such miserable circumstances.
Others may have better ideas but if you can get your mom to the ER you can tell them that you cannot take care of her anymore. They'll get a social worker involved and I suspect you'll have some options. But it has to be that you "can't take care of her anymore". Not that she's mean, not that she's ruining you life, you "just cannot take care of her anymore."
People who can dress and feed themselves can still go to a nursing home, I don't know what that person was talking about.
What happens when it becomes clear to your mom that she may have to move?
Go up to the Search Site box and type in Syracuse, NY. A lot of information will pop up. If she admitted to a hospital, do NOT agree to pick her up. Force Social Services to take over. You should not have to live like this, and yes, she may outlive you. 30% of caregivers die before their patients.
Otherwise, if you hadn't already, contact Onondaga County Council on Aging.
[I am a former Syracusan]. Good luck in your search.
A PRI test is not a comprehensive neuro-psych exam and clearly that is what she has needed for a long time. She needs a supervised setting to protect her from her own bad decisions. You need to let them do that.