I saw some old threads with this issue but am looking for additional advice. My grandparents (93 and 95) don't have any valid form of photo ID or proof of birth. My grandfather has an expired drivers license which won't be accepted as proof of birth or ID in NY. We can cobble together proof of identity based on utility bills, bank statements, tax returns, etc., but aren't able to find ANY documents with proof of birth (a requirement). They have no birth certificates--only baptism records. Complicating things further, neither of them use their given names (Vincenzo and Giovannina). I thought to try to request a search for their birth certificates from the Vital Records Office, but they may come back with names that don't match the names on all their other proofs of identity (bills, tax forms, etc.)!
They can normally get away with showing a medicare card, an expired ID, or Union member card for MD appointments and other mundane needs, however having zero form of valid gov't-issued ID seems irresponsible. My grandfather needed to have a pension form notarized to prove he was still alive and the banker only did it for him since he is a longtime customer....getting scary.
Anybody have any suggestions of how we can get things worked out to prove these people are who they have been for the past century (give or take)?
You should still try to obtain a valid ID through the Vital Records even if their names don't match.
I would say go like a geneologist would so check where they went to school [grade & high] to see if they have records, then look to birth announcements in newspapers, try the church records & go to the dioceses if church no long there, try the local historical society where they were born, if born in a hospital try there [but most were home births in those days], see if any siblings have documents & try the way they got them
Be aware that many Italian catholics [I'm assuming from the names] had many names & often also had the name of the saint whose day they were born on as a name but rarely used it - however it might come first so check the date they were born for that - my grandmother also used a different birth date all her life because she used the date of her baptism which was off by 2 days from her actual birth date [I found it in the church records]
Depending on family issues they may actually be using their 2nd or 3rd name - my friend's husband is 1 of 4 sons named Joseph & 3 daughters named Marie so they all used 2nd & 3rd names which means don't discount those records you already looked at because they were a bit looser about things then - they are often called after grandparents or aunts or uncles so then there are 2 with same name so they use a middle name
By time they started school the parents enrolled them with the name they were called NOT THEIR ACTUAL FIRST NAME - good luck - I hope I gave you some leads
I wanted Mom to add me to her bank account so I could pay her bills when she couldn't sign her name any longer. The bank would not accept her expired driver's license. I ran into roadblocks everywhere because of that ID issue.
I took her with her expired driver's license to the DMV two years after it expired. They could see that it was the same person and I could prove she lived at the same address. But, they wouldn't do it. They told me that they purge their systems after a year, and don't have her in the system any longer. So, I would need a birth certificate or a passport. I couldn't request a birth certificate online because they figured because of her age, this was done for genealogy purposes. I ended up calling the NJ vital records. I don't remember what went on there, but I think it was going to take a while to get and I was running out of time. Soon, Mom would not have understood why I wanted to be on her account...
Finally, an old colleague notarize the POA form without her being present because he knew what I was up against. Much later, I found Mom's valid passport; but she has declined too much, so it doesn't do me any good now.
This has all been a learning experience.... I know now what to do if my husband or I are in that situation.
Many people are known by names that are not the one on their birth certificate. Often different prices of govt I’d will have different names. My Uncle Bill has the name Bill, not William on his drivers license.
My step Mum is known by 3 different names, the most common one is a Nickname. My mother is called a different name than the one on her birth certificate too, but it has not been an issue.
Thinking it over most the people I know over 80 do not use their birth name. It should not be too complicated to work out.
I have a cousin in law who has a credit card issued in her first married name. She remarried 47 years ago, but never got around to changing the name on the card.
I had to pay for gurney transport for my Moms ID card, and I made an appointment so no waiting. She didn't need any paperwork, just her social and old ID card number.
If born in another country, you will need to contact them.
If they have a passport, then they had to have a birth certificate. When u apply originals are required which are returned. Passports are your best ID. Have you checked to see if they have a safe deposit box. Some people keep their important papers in them. You can't get a drivers licence without a birth certificate so he had to have one to show when he applied.
Mom's favorite aunt had passed away a couple years ago, and about six months ago, my great-aunt's caregiver sent a box to Mom. In it was a corrected birth certificate that included Mom's first name! There was her baptism record and a couple affidavits from long-time friends. I thought, "How cool. I'll take her for her first government ID card!" That thought didn't last long as Mom was extremely hard to take out of the house, then having to wait in line at the DMV? Uh, no.
Anyway, 97yroldmom's advise is great about calling the agencies first and present the problem as well as other documents that support that she was your mother. Let them tell you what documents they'll accept. I'm sure they hear it all the time, and may be able to give you suggestions too. Good luck.
You’d look for your state government websites. You ought to be able to find instructions to do what you need. There should be a telephone number if you need to talk to a human about those pretty names and your problem with them.
The baptism certificates? Would the church keep records?
It took me a week to get everything on it’s way to my dad through the USPS.