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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I agree with everything GardenArtist and freqflyer said. It's a very individual thing, and depends on many factors other than length of time. How needy or demanding the care recipient is, how close or conflicted the relationship between the caregiver and recipient, other time demands on the caregiver such as a job, relationship partner, other family and friends, the state of the caregiver's physical and mental health, etc. etc.
I personally began feeling very burdened almost from the very beginning, because I have a rather conflicted relationship with my mother, because she's more needy and demanding than she needs to be given the extent of her disabilities, because I don't respond well to having my freedom curtailed or being told what to do, because I don't believe philosophically in unchosen obligations or non-reciprocal relationships of any kind.
GardenArtist hit the point. If you're asking this question, you have probably reached your own limit or are rapidly reaching it. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. No two people have the same experience or react to it the same way.
I would add to FF's insight that it's often the nonphysical aspects that create so much burnout. It's more than getting up in the middle of the night, driving to your parent's home (if you live separately), then to an ER and spending several hours there.
It's the repetitive and tedious drives to doctor's appointments, or to PT if out of the house. It's the anxiety of wondering when the next middle of the night call will occur. It's the anxiety as well of worrying what will happen despite all the precautions you take. It's the challenge of how to effect necessary changes in a tactful and supportive manner, of how to manage and balance everything.
And it's the discomfort of spending so much time on the road during inclement weather, now that Winter is just around the corner for many of us. Add to that the hassle of hauling a walker, rollator, oxygen equipment, and of keeping the care stocked with emergency gear - lots of blankets and extra warm clothing, backup food, and everything but more than comes with winter driving.
And it's a lot, lot more, as others here will probably write. And that includes the loss of friends and becoming more isolated.
It varies from person to person... the caregiver's age, and own health condition. I think many of us think caring for an elder shouldn't be that hard until the elder is under the same roof. Even professionally paid caregivers burn out, and they get to go home after their 8 hour shift.
When I first came onto this forum, I was told that I was too old to be a caregiver ... at first I was taken aback by the remark, but lo and behold that writer was so right. I am a senior citizen my self, I don't that the energy that I had 20 years prior, and am dealing with my own age decline. One has to be very careful when trying to lift someone, our backs aren't young any more.
When you think about it, any time you visit a senior living facility or even a hospital, how many senior citizens do you see working there in a paid salary? Very rarely and there is a good reason, it's so darn exhausting.
Sorry, but there aren't many aspects of caregiving that are "normal", especially the burnout time. If you're asking this question, I suspect you've reached that point. So, perhaps you could ask yourself what aspects you find overwhelming and if the whole caregiving scenario is already too much for you? You have to know your own limitations and are the best judge of when you're burning out. There are so many variables involved with this that it's hard to normalize.
Good luck, and let your own feelings be your guide.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I personally began feeling very burdened almost from the very beginning, because I have a rather conflicted relationship with my mother, because she's more needy and demanding than she needs to be given the extent of her disabilities, because I don't respond well to having my freedom curtailed or being told what to do, because I don't believe philosophically in unchosen obligations or non-reciprocal relationships of any kind.
GardenArtist hit the point. If you're asking this question, you have probably reached your own limit or are rapidly reaching it. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. No two people have the same experience or react to it the same way.
It's the repetitive and tedious drives to doctor's appointments, or to PT if out of the house. It's the anxiety of wondering when the next middle of the night call will occur. It's the anxiety as well of worrying what will happen despite all the precautions you take. It's the challenge of how to effect necessary changes in a tactful and supportive manner, of how to manage and balance everything.
And it's the discomfort of spending so much time on the road during inclement weather, now that Winter is just around the corner for many of us. Add to that the hassle of hauling a walker, rollator, oxygen equipment, and of keeping the care stocked with emergency gear - lots of blankets and extra warm clothing, backup food, and everything but more than comes with winter driving.
And it's a lot, lot more, as others here will probably write. And that includes the loss of friends and becoming more isolated.
When I first came onto this forum, I was told that I was too old to be a caregiver ... at first I was taken aback by the remark, but lo and behold that writer was so right. I am a senior citizen my self, I don't that the energy that I had 20 years prior, and am dealing with my own age decline. One has to be very careful when trying to lift someone, our backs aren't young any more.
When you think about it, any time you visit a senior living facility or even a hospital, how many senior citizens do you see working there in a paid salary? Very rarely and there is a good reason, it's so darn exhausting.
Good luck, and let your own feelings be your guide.