A little back story first. Mom been living with me for 15 months. Since then, I left my job and health has suffered. Mental and physical.
On the other hand hers has improved and her domineer ways with it.
So, here we are and she has been given the key to newly redone apartment. I just don't have the strength or wherewith all to help her move out.
She has someone moving the heavy stuff and the small stuff but she is dragging her feet big time and using this last bit of time to guilt trip, manipulate and use me until she's gone.
Leading questions and so on.
Her self centeredness is at it's peak. I'm just biding my time at this point. What else can I do?
There's a lot of posts about Narcissistic parents and how to handle them.
Keep us updated on how things go.
I don't see vegging for a few days, I see her creating some kind of drama to get some attention though.
And she is a whiz at losing her phone, or leaving it in her car or just not getting up to look for things. She really likes being catered to.
She has been parentifying me for years and/or infantilizing. (Two big terms used when you have a narcissistic parent). She has some kind of personality disordered that her sister and niece refuse to accept.
Anything done for her has to be done on her terms and any rejection means a blow up.
I am ready for at least one night of not having to have my brains picked and some quiet. But it will take a while for the boundaries to set up.
PS She has already started b*tching about me coming over to help her with her meds or bills. And it hasn't even happened yet!!
Maybe set up one day a week that u take her shopping and run errands. I am sure you realize with this personality you need to set boundries for your sanity.
New year maybe new job. I think it would be a good thing. Then u can say "sorry Mom, new job, can't take time off".
My mother is moving here to Montana to be closer to me. Although she is moving into a retirement village, she is very much like your mother. I think we have to set boundaries.
I have always thought that children are supposed to grow up and have lives of their own.
Dig deep and get her into the apartment. The guilt trip may be easier to handle if she's not right on top of you. And you are more likely able to handle helping her if you can have some peace once in a while.
As for her last digs-yes she still needs to put me in my place. FOG.
take care and I'm glad to be back so thank you!
PS: Glad you are back!!
Same with the meds. I've heard of Pillpacks, it's something I can look into. She doesn't fuss at me about doing her meds, so again-it is something I can do without much hassle. Thankfully.
So, in response to that-I backed off on helping altogether.
She has people who she can pay with other things. My offer to her was to help with mailing off her monthly bills, and med management-which is doing her weekly pill box. The limit with that offer is-I can't manage when and if she takes them like she should.
Thank you for your reply. I'm sure I will have some stops and starts through this transition.
I think about a job and work that I like but, and I am getting emotional thinking about this, I'm not sure I can handle being back in the public. This depression is doing a number on. It's not to say that I won't climb back out of this place I'm in. One of the things dear Mom has insinuated is that I will be coming to her for $$ in a matter of time and I would rather eat a fire ant.
Oh, and this apartment isn't independent living. It is a HUD apartment complex that she had lived in for 20 years prior to being displaced. Everything has been replaced with all new, well everything. Kitchen appliances, stack washer and dryer. All of it. She is extremely fortunate to be able to go back there. But given her attitude of entitlement-not sure if she realizes it.
Have your own home draped for termites tomorrow. Stay with Mom at her apt
overnight?
I pledge to never live with her again.
Termites are a non issue.
thanks for your reply.