He's suffering from poor eyesight and has some form of dementia. My husband of 25 years tells his family that I'm trying to kill him, and I'm ripping him off. I'm not in good health and the stress is getting too much for me to handle, I feel as if I'm under a microscope now that his family are all coming out of the woodworks. I try to explain to them the changes that I've seen in him but, I don't think they want to hear it. He had become so paranoid that he changed the locks on the house with keys that can't be duplicated, he swore that I gave someone a key to get into the house as soon as he leaves it. He stops telling me when he has appointments as I would let people know he's away so they can come in and interfere with his things.I went to see his GP a while ago, to ask him to refer my husband to a geriatrician but he declined , saying my husband has to ask for the referral himself, and he sees nothing wrong with him cause when he comes to see him they would have normal conversations. He suggested I divorce him and then have the courts arrange for him to be assessed. He's accused me of infidelity, and call me horrible names, so now we're going to the bank with his grandson who he wants to be his eyes and ears from now on.
Unfortunately, he has the right to assign anybody he wants as POA as long as he can understand in the moment, what he is signing. What a difficult situation.
APS would be required by law to respond within three days and do an assessment of hubby's care needs. You may need protection from other family members, let APS know about what you need too. Is there a will or anything?
I'm sorry you're going through this with your husband. It must be very frustrating.
I have so many regrets, if only one could forsee the future.
If you don't have a copy of the recorded deed to the house, call or go to your local county's register of deeds (or something similarly described) and ask to get a copy. It would be easier if you have either a Sidwell (property ID) or property legal description.
Given your concern about all the issues now, and if you plan to stay in the house, that's something you might want to move to the top of your "to-do" list.