In addition, I've got outside senior care givers in taking care of mom. They have noticed behaviors and meds being with held, which they are also concerned about. I've been told that if I get an Ombudsman in to investigate, that this may cause more problems. There are other things going on too... like I've asked several times for copies of medical files and have not received.
Both my sister and I are an airline flight away from mom and dad. Any advice?
That is a new question and would be answered sooner if posted as a new question.
Discussions offline are not possible on this forum for people are discouraged from sharing personal e-mails, addresses, and phone numbers. About the nearest thing to offline that this forum has is making posts on people's walls private.
It sounds like it is time to move them. One thing you might want to consider is maybe this is an opportunity where they could be flown near to either you or your sister and move into an assisted living there. Then, one of you could be right on top of things, be their advocate in person, and also be in a position one day if needed be able to help them move to a higher level of care.
I think now is a very good time to review whatever plan has been made in the past for their immediate and long term care and see where it may need some modification. Part of this review may involve having their doctor evaluate their overall health and see what he suggests about their care.
I don't recall your sharing their ages, but it might be wise to look at the long term view as well as the short term immediate need. Too many families just react to one crisis after another without any real plan.
Anyway, those are my thoughts.
Assisted Living facilities provide basic service for a base rate (housing, meals in DR, activities). Everything else is extra, fee for service. Medication management, being accompanied to DR, etc.
My mom was briefly in an AL memory care unit, where we added a 24/7 aide because mom was not feeding herself or aware of where she was (it turned out she had a broken hip). The aides kept saying to us, " does your mom have a house? Couldn't we take better care of her at home? Why are you paying for this? We could do better!) My message is that you need to look at the motivation of the person who is telling you that all is not well.
Thank you for your prompt reply. A member of a professional organization suggested an Ombudsman, but said I might want to do so after I consider moving them out, because she's seen ALFs make life more difficult for my parents.
Mom's taken several falls in the last two to thee months and each time, the ALF is supposed to call me with a report. They have missed one or two reports that I'm aware of. After the last fall (happened twice in 24 hrs) I immediately got on a flight to visit. CT scans checked out OK, but made a doc apointment to learn more as I understand CT scans do not always provide a clear diagnosis.
In addition, I'd learned from an outside aid that there had been numerous falls by other residents. One woman had fallen, received a CT scan at the hospital, released and sent back to the ALF and dies several days later. Apparently related to the fall.
Mom broke a rib, based on Doc report, from the last fall and the ALF has told me she's getting pain meds. but outside caregivers say, that's not always true. Doc reports are consistent with what the RN says.
Aids have been with M&D now for a few weeks and the ALF is now suggesting we leave. This is another story. Happy to discuss offline if that's possible in this forum.
In any case, what I don't want is more trouble, or lack of care from the ALF, should I bring in an Ombudsman. Determing what to do for my folks is best.
The outside care is NOT being covered by the ALF. And all the ALF does is "clean" - sort of (really just change sheets and towels) and vaccume 1x. And they provide 3 meals/day. Was also told that if mom's too tired, or not feeling well enough to go to the dining room, then they would no longer provide (or send) her meals to her apartment/room. I do have opinions on that statement, which are not appropriate for this forum.
Thoughts?
Your parents or you are paying too much money for their care at an ALF that is not providing proper care.
Who is paying for all of this care?
Are you and/or your sister their medical and durable POA?
Do you feel free telling us what other things that are going on?
Are these caregivers willing to testify to what they have seen about behaviors like meds being withheld?
Who has told you that having an Ombudsman to investigate may cause more problems? What kind of problems? This sounds like a veiled threat to keep any investigation from happening and a partial admission that they know there are problems but don't want to or plan to do anything about it. That stinks!
If they had nothing to hide, they would not be making such threats about your having an investigation done. If you chose to move forward, I would make sure to tell the Ombudsman about these threats of more problems from the ALF. They need to know that.
I wish you the best in this mess and please come back and let us know what is going on.