It's really wearing on me as the demands have increased much lately in taking care of my 97 yr. old mother. I have confronted her about her criticism. I can see she is not aware of doing this. I would like to keep
her as she IS good with mom and mom likes her, plus she is easily available.
Now what? I need some feedback. Thanks, cadams
Overall, the visiting caregivers don't criticize me too much where I end up feeling as if I'm stupid, don't know what I'm doing all the time, etc... They know how to be subtle, tactful. And I know how to listen, weigh the information and then do it or not.
NO OF COURSE WE HAVENT But training requires skills that your helper probably doesn't have . Actually definitely doesn't have because you are not taking the information she is giving you in that context. It may well be that this person has been trying to let you know that your way is NOT the right way - FOR YOUR HEALTH that is. It might work wonderfully for your mum but if in the process you damage your back then you can't caregive.
Now I know I am being generous here and they may just be the carers from hell who know everything but they may well be better trained than you so observe what they do, notice if they do something in a way you wouldn't and ask the question.....I find it easier to move Mum this way but I notice you do it that way....why?
See if by taking the student approach you can encourage them to 'give' of their knowledge rather than reproach you for what you are doing. I am a learn by watching sort of person so that works for me - you may be a different type of learner so whatever works best for you.
Try it it might make all the difference and if not you have given of your best xxx
i had hospice nurses trying to pick me apart too till i got fed up with it and told doc they were stressing our household . doc lit em up .
you have enough around your neck without some mussolini wannabe trying to push you around .
When you confronted her, did anything change?
How much time to you spend with her?
Hopefully the "helper" can be used for next to nothing kinda thing.
You don't need the "peanut gallery" making sassy remarks and or observations.
She has a job to do. Period. And now you know that she'll get "preachy"
with you, so you can come here and unload /vent without being judged. As if we don't have enough on our PLATTER !!! Plate not big enough!
We talk about ourselves and only a little or a lot. Depends on how we're doing.
I wish you well, and stick around please.
M88
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