I was wondering if there are any other caretakers out there that are only children like myself. Everybody always tells you to ask for help, what if there is no one else to help?? I have no relatives that live by my mom and me and when i vent to them i receive no sympathy. no one whom i have talked to is in the same situation. Anyone know of any books out there for "only's"?
Support group are great, but if you are in my situation, I can't find a babysitter to watch my father to go to one, or they are during the day when I am working. I sure you find that you are better at handling situations and stress better than others around you who have the luxury of supportive siblings. the important thing is to have something that you enjoy doing, such as a craft as an outlet. It won't last forever, so don't stop thnking about wht you will so afterwards.
Chocolate helps too ! :)
I'm sure there are, but there are many of us who THINK we are only children, because it is very typical for the other siblings not to help. Totally, or not much. You can find other caregivers in your area to get to know through Aging Care. There are support groups in almost every city. Go online and Google that for your specific concern and city. Join us here on different
threads, and feel the love and friendship, and support you could never imagine:) We are all like you. BIg Hugs. christina
My mother and I are making it okay, right now, but I would ask for help from our hospice center if I needed to do so. You will remain in my prayers. RLP
My prayers are with all of the "onlys" on this site- it can be a tough, lonely road.
I had to explain to Dad that since I was female, I didn't get the same salaries as men, therefore I need to work many more years to try to make up that difference. He looked at me like my hair was on fire. He had no idea that women my age went thought that.... yep, college grad in accounting but when I went for my first job, HR [they were called Personnel Office back then] asked me how fast could I type.... [sigh].
My mom also did not take care of herself, and I can identify with the anger about that. You are not leaving your mom inappropriately at all since the cousin is there and she has good care in any event. You probably should go anyways, even if it is not as much relaxation for you due to anxiety - at least then you will not have to feel you shortchanged your family and be mad at mom even more for that. Do the kids ever visit Mom and does that ever cheer her up? My mom used to just love those grandkid visits, especially form my son, and some good memories were made. And I TOTALLY get the torn in pieces part - work, family, mom, all of those needing or at least wanting more time and energy, and no matter which you are attending to you feel guilty about not attending to the others...let alone a minute for you somewhere. Some things get better, some things get worse as the condition sadly progresses. The emotions are totally normal, and yet it might not be bad to get some help with them to try to sort out how you could reduce the stress and anxiety level - the truth is you are doing the best you can juggling everything and deserve to feel at least a little bit good about that. These are not the easiest years in anyone's life, to say the least.
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