Ok, guys help me out here...
My Partner is seeing people. I have told THOSE people to get out. I was told this could happen when he is on hospice and close to death.
I need help...Advice....My partner wanted to call his son in Germany and let him know how things are going. I asked my Partner did he want me to call the son who is deleted from the TRUST, I only thought it was decent to let him know that his father is nearing his end. My partner said YOU CALL HIM. So, I did and told his son what was going on. I handed the phone to my Partner. I just feel that they should talk. When my partner was done with the call, I took the phone and laid some ground rules. He is not allowed to bring his wife. She is NOT allowed in MY house. PERIOD. The last time these two came to visit, I almost had to call the police. The son gets violent defending his wife who is a full blown drunk. Mind you these people are CORPORATE people who have an OCEAN front home. They are not living in an alley. They are just self centered and drunks. The son is coming to see his dad. AGAIN, he was told his wife CANNOT enter the home. Before the son arrives, I will call him and let him know the ground rules also. I want the father and son to have their own conversations, but I cannot leave as I have no way of knowing if the son will start on his rant with his dad. How should I handle it. REMEMBER, this son, came close to going to jail for nearly hitting his father on the last visit. I need true advice.
As for marriage, go through the motions if it makes him happy, but I don't think the clerk can issue a license to someone who is confused.
I wouldn't worry about the other people's feelings. Just your partner. If these guest have been violent before, there is no way I would want them anywhere near me or my partner. I guess it's difficult to back out now, though, I think I would. Or, perhaps alert security or a Hospice person to be in the room and explain he has a few minutes before his dad will tire and need to rest.
When they arrive, have some friends over to help you out. Church friends, neighbors, anyone who can help diffuse a situation and just be support and a warm body.
I have talked to my partner and asked him if he really want the SON WHO HAS ISSUES to visit. He will never say no as it is his son. BUT, he does not want the wife in the house. PERIOD.
My partners feelings are very important to me at this time. I will do my best to avoid any confrontations at this time. But, with my experience with the son's wife, it may mean a call to the police. She is a WORK of art...
My Partner asked me to marry him. I posted on here that I was so excited. AFTER ALL these years...But after careful consideration, I am going to just let it pass. I feel uncomfortable having him make such a decision now. Especially with all the drugs he is on. I love him so much and he loves me. I just want the best for him. I got so excited... I wanted all of you at the wedding. But, after careful consideration...It is more important that I take care of him now... Besides the County Clerk requires us to be both present to fill out and apply for the registration. That is NOT going to happen.
I am in agreement with him on his son's wife. I will tell his son, to come alone. But, I will also lay the ground rules. NO UPSETTING his father under any circumstances. This son hates me so much, there is no telling what he will do. The son and his wife are made for each other...Two off balanced people.
I would let bygones be bygones and let the son's wife into the house.... just make the alcohol unavailable to lessen having any fuel to start a fight. Remember, this is probably their last chance to see their father and father-in-law. I would let the father and son talk alone. Hope your partner is up for the visitors and conversations.
I'd try to do whatever your partner wants, but still keep an ear open and be ready to step in (if what partner wants is for you to be out of the room.)