My father sexually abused me for 16 years of my life from an early age. He is now 90 and has dementia/Alzheimer's. He hasn't acted inappropriately toward me for 40 years. However, on a recent visit (he and my mom still live on their own), he touched me inappropriately, made lewd remarks to me and exposed himself to me. Each of these incidents took place while my mom wasn't in the room (just like it was when I was a child). While I thought I could handle it, emotionally I was taken back to a place I never wanted to revisit. I am unable to fine any research on the subject of sexual offenders and dementia. I called his neurologist and asked for a return call - nearly 2 weeks later I still haven't heard from him. I spoke with his Primary Care Dr. who said the medication he is taking for Parkinson's may increase his dopamine levels which in turn increase his libido. While I know that sexual aggression is common in people with dementia, I am extremely concerned about his behavior due to my history. I repeatedly told him his behavior was highly inappropriate and walked away, but I wanted to run as far away as I could get. I've warned my mother of the behavior and asked her to stay close to him when they are in public keeping her eyes and ears open - she may need to diffuse a situation. Worse - what if he actually touches someone or says something vulgar and they file criminal charges??? I am unnerved by these incidents. I need to assess their living situation on a quarterly basis (they are on the East Coast and I am in the Southwest). I do not think I can put myself in that vulnerable position again ....how do I handle this??
As for protecting other people and keeping him out of legal trouble, I don't think that is your responsibility. You have shared your concerns with your mother. I think it is up to her to deal with it.
Good luck to you!
The moment I saw this, I thought "YUCK." But, it sure isn't your fault and what an awful way for him to treat you. I don't blame you for wanting to see your therapist, that's exactly what I'd be doing.
I agree with the people who said, "take care of yourself."
I would like to know what meds you folks are talking about so I might be able to address the issue with his PCP. He does not take any meds for the dementia. He does, however, have COPD, glucoma, and heartburn all the time which he "treats" with Pepcid or Prevacid, tums and the like. For his COPD he uses Spiriva, Advair, nebulizer and his rescue inhaler. For his glucoma he is using Xalatan. Would any of these meds have anything to do with this or maybe a combination of these?
I have friends who have been sexually abused as children and it isn't a nice thing to hear but some have been able to put it behind them and others it is still very much up front. I feel so sorry for all and I wish I could do something. I try and be a good listener and show a lot of love and support. God Bless.
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