The friend's daughter actually offered to be her POA. Her mom has been a friend of my mom's for years, and has heard many things in the last few years from MY mom that are not true (due to the dementia). I think they (mom's friend and her daughter) are seeing the dementia now, but before that they accused me of abuse and they were 1,200 miles away from me while I was caring for mom at my house. The daughter doesn't even know me. I know I have nothing to hide, yet they kept advising my mom to do leave and I eventuallty helped mom go home to her sick husband because I just couldn't take it after 7 months. Now I finally got her to AL since my dad is grouchy and sick himself and she needs more care. She has only been in AL for a month and has given her 30 days notice to leave for home. The DPOA/"friend" situation is one thing, but trying to care for an uncooperative mom is another. Any suggestions? I've thought about guardianship but am pretty sure that it wouldn't be granted yet and might not be all that much of a solution to the living situation anyway as the ward's opinions are considered on that specific matter in Washington state under guardianship anyway.
If your mom plans on living with this "friend" person you know as well as I do that that's not going to work. Being sympathetic and trying to be helpful is one thing, having someone with dementia who is not family actually living in your house is another.
Your mom can be uncooperative all she wants but if you can't have her living with you you need to speak up soon.
And since your mom has dementia she unfortunately no longer has the capacity to choose who she wants for her POA. I think it should stay in the family, with you.
Guardianship is one way to go but it's very expensive. If you can afford it, it might not be a bad idea since your mom is running around trying to make all kinds of decisions.