Anyone else have a parent who gets so "into it" when ill or injured?
Maybe this is more of a need for someone to commiserate than a true question. My dad has been sick with abdominal pain. Because he'd had an intestinal blockage years ago, he convinced himself this was the cause of the pain and he needed to go to the hospital and see a surgeon. I insisted we'd started with primary care doc, who quickly saw this as a bout of diverticulitis, a problem he's had off and on for many years. My dad seems disappointed. Next, he insists on walking to the mailbox and falls. From the ground he calls paramedics to come pick him up though the neighbors saw it happen and were right there ready to help. He told them not to help, he'd rather have paramedics. Then he called me to take him to the hospital. Paramedics picked him up and thankfully saw that nothing was broken and he was able to walk and talk fine. He wanted a hospital. Hospitals here are awful for long waits at the ER, and I've been done this road enough to hate them unless really necessary. I made him go to urgent care clinic where a doc looked at him, xrayed, and declared nothing was wrong. Again, he seemed disappointed. By yesterday he was wearing his collection of hospital socks (those grippy ones) and using a walker (he normally uses a cane) and complaining of being dizzy from pain meds (no doc has given him pain meds, he's squirreled some away from the past and is using them) I completely get it that he's uncomfortable with diverticulitis and sore from falling but we also see that every time something medical happens he gets soooo into it, like he thrives on it. We surround him with care and attention but he loves sickness. He gets on the phone and calls everyone he can think of and tells every detail, thinks of excuses to see more docs, asks what else I think he needs over and over. There's a loneliness factor at play I'm sure. Anyone else experience a parent enjoying sickness or injury? Do you play along or ignore?
Think of a toddler who skins his or her knee. It's a major event.
People need comforting at various times in their old age; I think it helps to give them the support he needs. It doesn't really take that much effort, and if he feels he's still loved, people still care, and that he actually is all right, that has to be better for his outlook.
I think it's better to be overconcerned than refusing to address medical issues, as some posters have written is a problem with their parents.
But I do completely agree that when an older person falls, a paramedic is better to handle getting him/her up than neighbors who have no medical training.
Just pamper him, be extra special to him and remember that he's going through something you hopefully won't have to as you age.
Daughter: it sounds like your father is afraid of dying now that he is older and having health problems. He might unconsciously be looking for the security of being with medical professionals and in a hospital setting because it makes him feel safer.
For my Mom, she wanted to be reassured that the doctors would schedule her another appointment in 6 months [some doctors it was every 3 months]. And she loved it when the doctor would say to her "see you next year". That made her feel she was going to live another year.
Jessie, I liked what you wrote "late-life occupation is being a sick person", that's a keeper.
If your dad has a psychologically induced health problems, it's very difficult to treat. Mainly, because the patient is in such denial. One of the best things to do is get rid of some of their anxiety and/or depression, which seems to exacerbate it. Good luck getting them to take meds though. Their brain seems to ward off anything that is helpful. She loves to take meds that are not helpful, but avoids that that would be helpful.
How old is your dad? I would try to discuss his condition with a Primary Doctor and see if the Primary will refer him to a Psychiatrist. Just a look at his medical charts likely will confirm what the Primary suspects. How many trips to the ER and doctor where they find nothing wrong? Often their records reveal a lot.
I would also discuss anti-anxiety meds. If I can convince her to take one of these, a trip to the ER can usually be avoided.
It's a tough life. Keep watch of others. This type of condition often runs in families.
I don't recommend the broken shoulder route, as it was terrible, but I noticed whenever I wore my sling, I didn't get asked to drive them anywhere, so I would wear that sling for as long as I could around my parents whether I needed it or not :P
I'm ready to commit myself. I hate going to doctors and it makes me feel like a hypochondriac. I'm too young to feel crappy. I don't want to feel this way. Yuk! Too many years of stress with Mom (who had NO health problems up until age 100) and I've got it all (so does my sister) - GERD, arthritis, BPV, and gyn issues. Why me?
I recall that years ago, I suffered from a panic attack and rushed to the ER. They checked everything and found nothing. I followed up with my primary, had a cardiac consult, just to be sure it was not heart related and ACCEPTED my panic attack diagnosis. I was then able to deal with it, get treated and it soon went away. Thank goodness.
I think that if someone refuses to accept the diagnosis, but keeps the belief that they really are sick in the back of their mind, it helps perpetuate the cycle.
But, I wouldn't fool around with chest pain. I'd see a cardiologist, get checked out and rule out any cardiac issues. AND then ask the cardiologist for advice.
And if you fee crummy a lot, ask the doctor about meds.
Then squeeze some fresh lemons, and if you have a chair on your front porch, sit in it and watch the world go by.
Better than meds (especially if you have a DVD of Nureyev or Baryshnikov).
If no med for depression or anxiety is tolerable, I'd ask the doctor for other suggestions like talk therapy.