Elderly parent hallucinates, has renewed driver's license, and has guns in the home. Any advice?
My mother is at her wit's end. He has a history of heart condition, eye problems, skin cancer, and more recently, kidney disfunction. The hallucinations originally began months ago and tests revealed a kidney problem, which medication helped and thus relieved the hallucinations. The overlying problem is this: he "forgets" or refuses to take all of his medications reliably and the hallucinations have returned. There are guns in the house and Mom hid the key to the cabinet, but he literally insisted she make it available because he thinks people are prowling. He has had his driver's license renewed recently by mail (this is a major issue that should be addressed, and not just in this instance but for anyone like him) and insists on driving even though he has had THREE fender bender incidents lately just on our property! He insists that there are people stealing things from the barn, sees people in the house that aren't there, and blames everyone else for everything he thinks is out-of-place or broken. Memory loss and cognition have definitely been an issue for the last year and it is simply getting worse. He has had an MRI and there are no indications of stroke, he passed an Alzheimer's test with flying colors, and in general appears to just be a slightly addled old man in public. My questions are: What legal resources are there to remove this dangerous individual from the roadways? What can be done when the symptoms of a probable kidney problem re-appear (aka hallucinations) and the Dr. doesn't have an available appointment for weeks? Where can we turn for immediate help in this instance??? We can't wait for weeks to have supportive services or counselor assigned.
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As for the guns, remove all the ammo from the house, or hide it somewhere. I realize your parents live on a farm and rifles are the way of life, but once it becomes a safety issue something needs to be done. If your Dad thinks people are prowling, a family member could be accidently shot if you Dad mistakes that person as a prowler. Let Dad have his rifles, but no ammo, as the feel of the rifle in his hands makes him feel he is protecting his family.
As for driving, contact the DMV in your area, explain what is happening and ask for suggestions.
Hopefully all this can be worked out so everyone can feel safe.
You should be able to *surreptitiously* remove the firing pins/bolts/breeches from guns, but I have no knowledge of that, just have seen it on many TV shows and did a quick Google search. The police department would also probably be able to advise you on that and/or do it while your father is away from the house.
I think you are acting responsibly and have plenty of backbone. Good luck and keep us posted.
I believe we are going to have to take him to the ER at some point this weekend (they have company for dinner today so all should be well - it's worse when he is alone or just with her).
In the meantime, the guns can indeed be disarmed and that will be done ASAP so it looks like he is armed and protected and doesn't just go buy more ammo when he sees it's gone.
There is actually a form through the DMV you can request a driver's license re-evaluation for a variety of reasons but that takes time. In the meantime we are going to temporarily disable his truck so it can't be driven.
They did a CT scan and blood work up and in the waiting for results he decided he'd had enough and wanted to go home.
Long story short, he vanished and no one could find him so they called the sherriff's office. Turns out he just walked out of the building because Mom wouldn't drive him home nor give him the keys.
Someone saw him walking on the highway and took him home.
The Dr. has diagnosed him with "dementia" so now has a legal obligation to inform the DMV that his license should be revoked. The sherriff's office is also now involved and he cannot have access to firearms. My Mom can now pursue home care so that she can have access to periods of respite and "back-up".
Ba8alou, I was turning to other people that have similiar problems for suggestions precisely because I am only human and can't possibly think of everything.
My anguish over the thought that he would hurt someone else (or himself) is what prompted me to this site.
This person wasn't a particularly pleasant individual to deal with when mentally healthy and has only been less and less pleasant with this progression. I would Never, Ever have put my mother in a situation where she would bear the brunt of his frustration and anger any more than necessary. She is already coping with a bitter, angry, confused person and forcing the situation may very well have led to physical violence.
IMHO there is always a better way to do things, and maybe the outcome for this particular situation is the best we could have hoped for.
And thanks for the update regarding having to need a diagnosis and the right to bear arms.
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