My mother has been with me for nine months. She is alert and oriented. Her main problem is mobility issues. She needs assistance transferring from wheelchair to recliner/stairlift/toilet every time. Also assistance with all activities of daily living. One brother has taken her for short stays every three to four months. After she is taken care of and everything is placed at her fingertips, I try to run out to the store and get back before she needs anything. She feels if I can go out for a couple of hours-how much do I need? She can afford some extra help (at least for awhile). I am becoming more and more impatient . Tonight she cried after I told her after nine months I knew to leave Tylenol at her bedside. I have tried so hard to be there for her. She feels the monthly compensation should be enough. Is it wrong to ask for additional money for aides for time off each week?
Also, you must remember that although she is your mother and told you what was good for you for most of your life, YOU are the one who gets to decide how this goes. If you feel you need respite, then take it.
Remember that just because you are a caregiver does not mean you need to ask permission to take care of yourself too.
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