My grandmother and grandfather who raised me, coersed me into allowing my parental rights to be terminated in 2010 due to drug use. They knew the judge who took my kids, I was on drugs at the time, they told me i would never see my kids again if I cooperated with the court. I was told if I let the adopted, after the adoption was finished they would put my kids back in my physical custody. Dope feind that, I was, I believed them. Up until this year I lived with my grandparents and children allowing my grandmother to dictate my every move, even selling myself to pay her so I could be with my children. (let's make it a little less dramtic, I was a drug addict, prositution was an everyday occurance, I want to make it clear that my grandmother profited from it as much as i did if not more. In Jan my grandfather died, (the man never believed any of this that was obviously going on right under his nose, I don't think his mind could process the depravity, and my Grandmother being the narcissistic psychopath that she is lied to him and he believed her always.) For the past couple of years my grandmother has been running with this lie that she has a terminal illness (I've spoken to her doctors, and they say her problems are not physiological but psychological) My grandfather died believing that she spent 4 days a week for the last 2 years of his life in an experimental chemo hospital. She was actually at a club in east st. louis, where people "swing" or prostitute and have sex. If she wasn't there she was at a casino blowing the money he was giving her for her chemo treatments, or what ever lie she feed him to rob him that day, she spend at least a couple of hours at the casino everyday, in the event she is unable to, she becomes beligerent, even parinoid. In the past 3 months, she has gone through a $500,000 life insurance policy. there is nothing left. There are new men and women in and out of her house constantly now that she isnt hiding things from grandpa, she is apparently 'working' at that club I was talking about. I cannot carry on a conversation with her anymore, she is completley delusional. I am naturally the primary caregiver for my children, I got clean after I was incarcerated for a year in 2011. (I was incarcerated with no bond, under investigation for a burglery that took place at grandma's boyfirends house, she said it was me. She has staged robberies in front of me, but had the nerve to try and pin it on me. Once the detective confirmed my alliby, my grandother convinced any friends and relatives, that if they bonded me out she would make trouble for them. so i sat.) I've been clean and been a good mother to my children since (much to grandmothers distate i no longer prostitute either), however unable to live outside of my grandmothers reach with them (the last time i left them alone with her, i was at work, and asked her if she would be there when they got off the bus, she said yes. kids got off the bus at 315, by 4 she was calling and texting repeatedly, i raced home, my children my husband and i live in the 1 bedroom mother inlaw house on her property, she lives in a 4 bedroom next door. she left them there unattended in the 1 bedroom and told them she was going to the bank. she didn't return until 11pm.) my grandmother has't ever been there caregiver if I was not 'allowed' to be present my grandfather would be, another family member and at times even a nanny. But grandmother was too absent to have been a caregiver. My boys 8 and 9 know me as mom they know who has been there for them, and they know grandma is messed up. My parental rights being terminated, makes it almost an impossibility to have them reinstated, and she isn't going to go down without a fight my kids get a total of 3500$ a month is ssi from my grandfathers death. the money i believe is the ONLY reason she wants anything to do with them it is obvious her lifestyle does not allow room for them. My grandmother is 65 falls inside her home regularly, can not remember things she said yesterday, does not have the mental capacity to fill out simple paper work, will not take many of her prescribed medications, has heart disease, and had a double knee replacement, and several heart attacks complete with bypass. her compulsive behaviors have gone from shopping and eating, to hording, to gambling, to men, so men and women, to sex, to living a complete delusion. She has a history of being abusive to children, and also has a history of falsifying police reports, manipulating, coercing, fraud, blackmail, wreck less driving, stealing, the list goes on on on on and on. What do I do? I fear for my children, where do i start, i fear contacting a lawyer for fear of retaliation! please help me.
Midwest
Blannie, you were given some good advice here. Wish you well with the obstacles you have overcome and especially with your children.
There is no easy road here, and plenty of risk but you need to prove that the children are under your " Care and Control" and have been for an extended period of time. Are your the contact for School, Primary Care Physician? Cover all your bases including purchasing clothing, school supplies and caring for them in all ways.
Good Luck
Teach your kids to call child protective services everytime they are
left alone or there are strangers in the home.
Teach them to run away to your new home, and report to child protective services each time there is an incident.
Sorry, it doesn't sound like you have the wherewithall or competence to protect your children at this time. If you can get out and stop blaming grandma, maybe you can earn custody, or your husband can take custody, but what has he been doing so far? The courts will be on your side, the parent. Let grandma show her competence by filling out the paperwork to get the kids back into her home after social services looks into this situation. You have been blackmailed, it seems.
Have you ever gone to a shelter with your kids. One way to get the agencies involved. Don't ever be afraid to protect your children. You are not helpless. Go to legal aid, unless there is some benefit you are getting from all this drama.
Sorry to give you the tough love answer, I am sure there is more to the story.
Where do your children want to live, with whom? After posting this, I am going to take a break from this site.
Brittanie, I wish I knew how to help you, but I don't. It sounds as if your grandmother has everyone in her "back pocket." That is going to make things difficult for you. If you can go to another jurisdiction for help, that might be a place to start. Best of luck to you and your kids. I truly hope you can get them away from her. And while you're at it, get her committed!
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Not one word about if you don't have dementia you should not be on this site. We are all facing many challenges. Usually this site is full of compassionate, caring people. I am just hoping that some of the comments in this thread can be chalked up to a bad day.
"My grandmother is 65 falls inside her home regularly, can not remember things she said yesterday, does not have the mental capacity to fill out simple paper work, will not take many of her prescribed medications, has heart disease, and had a double knee replacement, and several heart attacks complete with bypass. her compulsive behaviors have gone from shopping and eating, to hording, to gambling, to men, so men and women, to sex, to living a complete delusion.
She has a history of being abusive to children, and also has a history of falsifying police reports, manipulating, coercing, fraud, blackmail, wreck less driving, stealing, the list goes on on on on and on."
She has all of these health problems, plus other problems and at 65 works at a sex club as well as is still sexually active while you and your children live with her and as your profiles says you are her caregiver?
I am speechless!