I pay bills, make Dr appts, make decisions etc. about everything with their permission but I need legal permission. My mom always took care of everything, she has dementia. My dad can’t make decisions he can’t read or really understand like my mom. I don’t want to do everything at the last min.
They don’t have the money to hire an Atty. I don’t work cause I take care of my parents I live with them and have been for many yrs I quit my job to take care of them do to my parents didn’t want anybody else to take care of them or anybody in their house. I’m getting worried. My mom still remembers a lot of things so I want to get this done before she can’t. Please give me advise on where to start. I have no clue.
You have gotten yourself between a rock and a hard place. You need to start thinking of yourself. Finding help for your parents so you can go back to work. I would start with in home Medicaid. There is an income requirement but if ur parents can't afford an attorney than they may qualify. You maybe able to get enough help to get a job. Call your Office of Aging to see what resources they can provide.
You need to look towards the future. When ur parents pass their income goes with them.
Do your parents have a doctor? Has that Doctor done enough care of them to write you a letter that your parents are unable to function to handle their accounts, bills, and etc? If so you may be able to become Representative Payee with a visit with that letter to Social Security. You can go to their site and read about becoming this. Covid-19 will put this off until things reopen. But you can start with the doctor. If the doctor says that your Dad is NOT demented enough for this letter, then you and Dad can go to the bank and you can be added to their checking account. Be METICULOUS with your record keeping if this happens. Write down in a diary and on a ledger every penny of theirs that comes in and every penny that goes on. If one or both your parents require placement then they will be on medicaid which will ask for a 5 year lookback of all their money. You cannot meld your money and theirs. (California has only a 2 year lookback; I don't know where you live).
Basically you have waited too long. I cannot tell you how much you need the advise of an Elder Law Attorney. If your parents already get any help or you know a Senior Center in a nearby larger town you can sometimes ask to legal aid. Call around. Ask anyone you can think of how to get a reasonable fee. Call lawyers in your town and tell them what you told us.
I wish you luck. You have put off researching all this, and as I said, the last minute occurred hours ago. You are left now with doing the best you can. Get all the advice you can get. Visit clergy, doctor, anyone you can. I am assuming you are not even the person designated for medical decisions, which makes this doubly bad.
At some point one of them will be hospitalized and likely need placement and that is the time to get a social worker in the corner and get all the answers you can. It is literally their job to know what to do about the questions you ask. Wishing you so much luck.
This is a great time to deal with them while everyone else thinks they are shut down.
This is a link to the Medicaid waiver program in Texas. There is probably a waiting list.
If they're titled jointly with rights to the survivor, you don't need a will as title will pass automatically to the spouse who inherits, but that raises another issue in terms of heirs, and getting documents in place now. Your parents need to decide who inherits what they have, whether or not they want to retitle now . Next issue is whether or not they still have mental capacity to do so.
The goal is that once either dies, assets pass to the remaining spouse, or child, or whoever they want, outside of Probate.
Living wills or advanced directives are a different story, and should be created ASAP so that their end of life wishes and desires in the event of incapacity are addressed now.
These are best prepared by attorneys specializing in this field, in either an estate planning or elder law practice. Forms are available, but unless you're experienced in deciphering legalese, it's not wise to attempt this on your own.
If there are senior centers in your locale, check with them to see if they have free advice; many have visiting attorneys who offer nominal advice, but it could provide some guidance to help you make a selection for the end of life medical issues.
Elected reps used to represent themselves at senior expos and hand out very good guidebooks, with references to businesses which provided services for seniors. I doubt any expos will be had until there's a reliable vaccine for the CV, but reps may still have piles of these types of information, so start contacting your reps to see what senior directories might be available.