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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My parents are in pretty good shape physically, but not mentally. The dementia units I looked at made me run the other way. Yet, they need help due to downward, continual memory losses. Where do I turn for help with decisions?
Ellenjay, you should consult with their doctor right away. The doctor can give a diagnosis of dementia, after which you should immediately contact a lawyer (see if you can find one who specializes in elder care issues) and obtain power of attorney (POA), both financial and medical. Without the POA you legally have no right to decide about their medical care or their finances. Having the POA in place does not mean you have to invoke it just yet, if you feel things are not to that point, but you will have it in place when the day comes you need it. For ongoing advice, this is a great site to pose questions but also talk to their doctor and consult your local Office of Aging. Dementia can progress slowly over years, or progress rapidly, so it is best to be prepared. Best of luck to you.
If you can afford it, I would definitely look for a geriatric care manager in your area. You can find one at caremanager.org These are professionals, (social workers, nurses, etc). who can provide guidance, support and point you to local resources, and help you plan for long-term. Even speaking to one for an hour could save you many hours of confusion and money as well. You are in my prayers.
Ellen, Do you have sibs? Perhaps they can assist or be a sounding board for your thoughts. As to the memory care places, I felt the same way as you. It was finally the 11th place I visited that I selected. It wasn't advertised on- line nor do they participate in the groups that help you find a place with no charge to you. (The facility pays the fees so if they don't participate, they aren't suggested!) Others on this site may be able to offer ideas. But you need to expand the information on your profile or add to the question or add your comments as an answer on this thread. What are the ages? What area of the country do you live in. How close do you live to them? What types if issues are they experiencing, etc.
Also, if they are physically well, consider a live in helper if they can afford it. They might be happier in their own home with "some help", and someone to drive them to store, senior center, etc.
Try to figure out how long their money would last them in assisted living. They seem healthy by your description, so will probably live a longer time. Then talk to them when (I hope) they have a moment of clarity about what they would want. Also check and see if the facility will take Medicaid, Medicare for which services. If they do, then having them remain in the familiar place might make sense. However, I think most places don't. You might want to write down the choices, the pros and cons, and leave a copy with your parents. They can look at it over a couple days. Also, do contact Aging Services and get their expert advice about what situation might be best for the long run. Good luck with this.
Ellenjay, if one of them was a wartime veteran, they can both get aid from the VA. Go to va.gov and look for Aid & Attendance. A huge help to get the best facility. Use a benefits consultant, they are free and will save your axx.
You might also want to consider Assisted Living facilities in addition to the memory care facilities. In general, the ALs have a higher functioning population and may be more home-like for your parents. My mom lives in an a retirement community that offers independent living, AL, Advanced AL and is adding a memory care wing. I feel comfortable knowing that my mom can move to a higher level of care without moving to a new facility and dealing with all the visits, interviews and paperwork involved with that. Your local area agency on aging (also called Aging Partners in some locations) can provide a list of appropriate places for your parents.
Two siblings, one out of town and one working in town. My parents are 88 and mainly my responsibility. They are declining in memory faster than their bodies are declining. They are in independent living now, but assisted is double the cost in their building and I wonder if it is worth it or not (for what we would get). Another facility I like would give them just one room with their bed, and chairs and a little bit of furniture, but it is very nice there and closer to me, as well as less money for assisted living needs. It would be a more difficult transition now, but the place seems better as more care is needed. It is just so hard to know what to do!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.